Things are About to Start Hopping

It's been awhile, I know.

The job with the family I have been with for a few years is coming to an end in a few weeks. The family has never needed summer care, and next year the boys will be in school full time. Over the last 6 months, my schedule has basically consisted of one or two days a week, so I continued to look for a position where I could supplement the rest of the week and hopefully end up with a long term position after this current one ended. I knew the ending was coming this year, so have been looking since the Fall.

I have been in contact with a few families, but usually for one reason or another, things just didn't match up exactly. I am flexible in many, many ways. However, I know what I am worth and, unfortunately, there are many parents who seem to expect private, tailored, in-home care (and general house management, as it seems many of them want) should be cheaper than putting their child in institutional child care centers. The condescension I see in some advertisements have me appalled sometimes. They act like you're just gonna sit on the couch and text all day while the child runs around in poopy pants and tears up the house.

I mean, yes I sit down sometimes. I need to. Don't YOU get a break at work?

I know many other nannies get cheesed off at this attitude too. A parent makes it clear that your work in their home is not even worth minimum wage. They expect a pseudo-parent, housekeeper, laundress, teacher, chauffeur and cook then want to claim the measly wage they grudgingly cough up as a deduction, making you earn even less while jipping you of your working rights.

No thanks. I will work in a day care before becoming your house slave.

Anyhoo, the point of that little side rant is that it took several months to finally find someone who matched what I know I want in a job. Luckily, I can be picky and wait for what I want. And it finally came along.

The job is a....well, a combination of mother's helper/house manager/nanny. Mom does not work, but is very involved in many community businesses and boards. So she is gone often, but sometimes home. So far (and it's only been a few months) everyone, including the grandparents who often come by, seem to be totally laid back and open to letting me do things in the way I see fit. There is no micro-managing. The grandmother has told me more than once, 'just go ahead and take over. That's what they want.' (Meaning, house decisions).

There are so many good things about this job so far. It pays well more than the average pay for our area. I am not (so far) being micro managed and am encouraged to make the decisions on outings, activities and dinner. If I mention I wanna make something special, she is like, "Sure!" and leaves her credit card. They are just starting their family (one child so far who is 2, but twins on the way and plans for more kids), so that means probable long term.

And, the schedule is super flexible. Right now, we go week by week with scheduling. Mom asks me what I have for the following couple of weeks that I need, and then she schedules her own appointments around it.

So far, I feel so very lucky.

I Love My Job!!

Things can be so hectic this time of year! Putting together crafts and fun trips and baking ideas for the kids to do, plus for me to do to help make the season special in my nanny 'family's house!

I will admit that what makes all the work worth it is knowing that my employers greatly appreciate and recognize the work and time put in.

Essentially, I am 'off' from this week through the beginning of January. There are a few days that the parent-boss' will need me as they run their own errands, specifically doing some shopping themselves and going to adult-only events. Momboss is still working, but she is off by evening. Dadboss works evenings, and goes to school during the day. He is off school, so they are basically playing tag in regards to who cares for the children.

Some nannies may be upset about this. Me? I love it. I love flexibility, and unexpected time off (or even expected time off) as long as I know I have a pretty steady job to return to. During my interview with the family, they were frustrated a bit at finding a fit for their family. They offered good pay, but didn't guarantee hours - for now. Once Dad-boss is out of school, then he will go back to the daily corporate world he was once part of.

I, personally, wasn't looking for 40+ hours. I was willing to work 40 hours for the right family, but the most important thing to me was some sort of flexibility. I prefer to be available for my own children when needed. They are in school full time, and also spend 50% of their time with their father. So I had time during the week for a job that was right for what I needed.

I have a degree that fits in the corporate world myself. Ha! So why am I in this field? There are a number of reasons. With my own children, it is very important for me to be available for them. With a corporate job with corporate hours, it would take away from what I want for my own children. So, over the years, I have sacrificed in order to do that. My husband is corporate and makes a decent income, so I budgeted for a lifestyle that would allow for that one income for our family so I could do what I feel in my heart is best - and that is raise my children myself.

My youngest is now almost 8. I also have a disable child that has required that I be available moreso than I would need for a typical child, being how he had to be run to therapy appointments along with a variety of other needs. But since my youngest is now a bit older, I have found that I am not needed as a mommy full time as I had when she was younger. My days are lacking of 'taking care' of someone. Throw in the fact tyhat their father, from whom I am divorced, is now taking them 50% of the time, it meant that I had full days and nights without caring for someone hands on.

And, with my extremely strong maternal instinct, it started making me slightly depressed. I am not ready to go corporate yet. I still feel my children need me just a tad longer before I do that.

So when i interviewed for this family, and they told me their needs, it was a perfect match! Not all interviews (well, very few, really) do I experience an immediate connection to the family, but with them I did. I went away, hoping that they would 'pick me', even though I charged a few dollars more an hour than they initially wanted to pay- what they were paying their previous care provider.

At the interview, I was told they only needed '12 hours' a week, with 'potential for more hours'. I applied because I liked the sound of that. Some may think that is crazy; what I heard was 'flexibility'!! I was willing to work over 30 hours, but didn't really want to. My preference was 15-25 hours. So, this was perfect! And I clicked with them too, which is so much more important to me than the hours or money made (altho they have their worth).

A few days later I was told that they felt I matched their needs almost perfectly, and would I like the job? I jumped and took it.

It was a great decision. I love the family. They are so easy to work with. The kids are great. It has been awhile since I liked a job this much!

Before long, the 12 hours became more. All with discussion, It was not something they sprung on me and expected me to just accept. They started paying me a salary that equaled a huge hourly amount IF I only worked 12 hours (rivaling corporate pay), but if I work 40 hours, it equals out to average nanny rates. I was astounded that they loved me that much! Dadboss told me they wanted to make sure I stayed for the long term and were determined to make certain I was happy.

I can not stress how much this has made me appreciative in return, and made me desire to exceed their expectations of me. There is much I do that is not officially my duty.

I also appreciate that my parent-boss' juggle their jobs and kids so well. If they are off, then I am off (paid). They desire to be with their kids, and spend time with them. They deliberately arrange their schedule to do so by working staggered schedules over one another, but pay me well to be there on the times they absolutely must BOTH be away full time. That means Momboss works full time during the day, and Dadboss goes to schol a few days a week during the day. This means, during the day, I am not always needed every day because when Dadboss is not in school, he takes care of his children. Dadboss works his job at night, a late 2nd shift, and Momboss is home taking care of kids. I love their family values. And they treat me as a partner in raising the kids, and not as some servant like I have read from so many other nannies. It makes me sad to read such stories about horrid employers. I would never, no matter how much I needed the money, work in a hostile environment. I would, and have, refused to work in such jobs even tho I have needed the money badly. I'd rather be broke than to put up with daily hostility and conflict.

Where am I going with this? I dunno. Just wanted to sit and write, and write I did!

A Feel Good Moment

We all get insecure. I am the kind of person who is always second-guessing what others truly think about what I am doing or how I am doing it, especially in relation to my job.

Don't get me wrong. I do a damn good job. I take the initiative and do many things that aren't even asked of me to help out my employers. I do this because I care about the family and I care about the children. I get as much joy creating experiences and memories for the kids I nanny as I do with my own children. I do the extra stuff every now and then because I like to think that I have, in some small way, made the life of someone else a little less hectic. 

But people are funny. Sometimes, others do not see things the way we see them. And we can think we are doing something over and beyond, and they may see it as not good enough. We can think we're doing a good job, and they can think we're doing a mediocre job. Or, they can believe we are doing a good job but not really agree with how we do our job.

My employers and I have a pretty good relationship. They back up my authority with the children, and have even taken a method I use and replaced their own with it. My job description does not include doing laundry, or cooking meals (except the children's meals) or cleaning. But - occasionally I will do these things as an act of service for the family that I care about. They're always appreciative. And always quick to re-assert that I 'don't have to do that.'

Of course, then I go into interpretation mode. Is that their way of saying they would rather me not cook dinner so Mom-Boss doesn't have to do it when she walks in the door from working all day? Do they appreciate the act yet not like my cooking? Did they have other plans for dinner and I just ruined it?

Ha! See? I do that. Rationally, I know this is not the case. Mom-Boss has texted me begging for a recipe I've used because it was so delicious. She has taken soup and shared it with her mother, and bragged that I folded laundry when she was exhausted from being with an ill family member at the hospital in between working and sleeping. She has apologized profusely for even asking me to work outside of my normal schedule.

And Dad-Boss - he's the one I see on most mornings. He is usually cheerful and asks about my weekends, my holidays, my morning so far. There have been a few mornings where he has been short. Again, I know sometimes he is just hurried. But my mind starts to wonder -- what are they *really* thinking about how I do my job?

Today, Dad-Boss calls me. They had called him off work because things were slow. He was going to be home an hour earlier, he said, and was that okay with me?

I laughed. "Of course!" I said. "It's YOUR house!"

"Well," he explained. "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with that. I don't want you to feel like I am messing up your schedule."

"No, no," I said, actually kinda glad to be able to leave early. "I'm flexible. It's fine."

So, he goes on to tell me his schedule during Christmas break. He is in school full time as well as working full time. He tells me when his last final exam is, then he has like 3 weeks off.

I waved it off, "Okay." I said. I was the one who asked him for his school schedule after all, fully expecting he would be off and they may not need me.

He went on, "well," he said. "We could find something to do, I'm sure. I - you know - I don't want you to feel like you're being slighted....."

"Whatever you need," I said to him. "Like I said before, this income is extra money for me " (my husband works and that is what supports our family) "and if you're home, and don't need me, it's okay. Really. And if you have something you guys want to do, like go shopping, that's fine. Let me know."

That's when he went on to say that they really appreciated me, and wanted to make sure that I was happy. He said he had talked to his wife, and even gotten on her a few times because he felt she had not given me enough advanced notice for some things, and that he stressed to her the importance of making sure I was happy in the job.

"The boys," he said. "They love you to death. And you are so good with them, and to them. We just want to make certain you are okay with things, that you're happy. It's hard to find someone you trust, and once you do, it's good to keep them. And I just - I don't want to have to go through trying to find someone else again....."

I assured him that I was, indeed, happy in my job. And I am. I love the job. And i am quite happy to find that they are happy with me too.

It feels good to be told. So parents, if you appreciate what a great job your nanny does with your children, tell her! It's not always evident, even if you may think it is.