Snakes in the Basement!

So, the last 8-9 months have proven to be very interesting. In that time frame, Momboss announced she was pregnant again (just months after giving birth to the twins), they sold their house and had to give it up for immediate occupancy before finding a house for themselves.

So, we all moved into the grandparents basement for 3 months. During this time, a house they were buying fell through when the owner of the house died and the family decided on different terms for the sale.

It was all chaos.

Eventually, we all made the move to the new house. It had been vacant for quite a long time, however. It was also a very outdated house on the inside. Major renovations started on the outside and the inside. This consisted of knocking down walls, tearing out fixtures, knocking out bricks from the fireplace. I was dealing with crawling babies finding nails, rocks, and pieces of drywall on the floor and joyfully eating it.

The kitchen was barely usable. The dishwasher didn't work so I was doing dishes by hand. I was digging for food, pots and pans and anything else I needed out of boxes since cabinets were being torn out due to a complete gutting of the kitchen. No one had bought any baby gates yet for this 3 level mansion. We were hanging out in the basement all day, eating in the kitchen, and kids were napping on the 3rd level in their rooms. This was a lot of not being able to do some of the most basic of things without worrying about babies climbing and falling down steps. Especially since there was a 3 yr old who did know how to traverse stairs and would sometimes start screaming in her room during naptime (throwing a fit) to having a potty accident in her pants (she went through a horrible regression stage after moving). This would lead me to having to ignore her for a few minutes, since running to check on her immediately would require leaving the babies alone trying to follow me. I would have to take one at a time to the kitchen, strap them in their seats, THEN go run and find out what 3 yr old S needed.

This was exhausting. We spent a good portion of our time out of the house once the weather got nice.

Then enter the snakes.

Momboss came home one day while I was feeding the twins. She went to the basement, where we had just been that morning. She came upstairs in a panic, saying there was a huge snake in the room where the toys were. She called her husband at work. Then she called a pest control company but they were unable to send anyone out anytime soon.

Dadboss ordered Momboss to sit and watch the snake.

"Don't let it get into the walls!" he said. "They'll have to tear all the walls out to get it!"

I told Momboss that was not true, tearing the walls out, but that they'd set traps.

She sat and watched the snake, since Dadboss would not be able to come home for another 45 minutes. She kept saying that she would not sleep in the house with snakes.

45 minutes later, Dadboss showed up. He went straight into the basement.

By this time, the twins were in their beds up on the 3rd level taking a nap. Me and 3 yr old S were in the kitchen.

This is what I heard coming from downstairs:

Dadboss: Let's get this shit taken care of!

Momboss: No, you can't shoot it! You're going to blow a hole in the wall and floor!!

Dadboss: What do you want me to do, then?

Momboss: I don't know, but you can't just shoot. You don't know what's inside of the walls! There could be pipes or.....

Dadboss: I tell you what, then. I am going back to work. When you figure out what you want me to do, then you call me back, okay?

Silence.

I heard footsteps on the stairs as Momboss and a worker from tearing out walls come up the stairs.

Momboss looked pretty pissed and unhappy.

The worker was laughing. "He's got a shotgun out! Cover your ears!"

I moved hastily over to S to put my hands over her ears, and no sooner had I done so, a shot rang out. Then another.

Hole in the Wall where the snake met its demise

"One shot should do it!!" Momboss yelled from the kitchen.

I went to the top of the steps and shouted down into the basement, "I'm NOT cleaning it up!"

I then heard the shop vac start up.

Then Dadboss and Momboss going in and out of the garage with shovels and plastic bags.

I told Momboss that she should call the cleaning lady and tell her we had an "incident" in the basement, and could she come clean up some blood?

She was not amused!

Just a Job?

It's tough out there.

Hubby and I were talking about the competition in the nanny field vs years ago, before the internet. Sure, you could go through an agency or newspaper ad, but you couldn't just daily browse ads with ease and 'shop around', so to speak, as you can easily do today. I would imagine for parents that it is exceedingly frightening to know the nanny you love could up and leave at any moment because she found something that pays better, is closer, or has a better schedule/duties for the money. (on the same note, maybe many don't really care.) 

Not all nannies are looking for 'something better', so to speak. Sometimes, jobs will fall in their laps because a parent looking will see a profile.

The parents, of course, have a plethora of nannies to choose from. But they have an extra burden, one that nannies carry as well but not to the degree, and with the same implications, as parents do. It's the finding someone with whom your children will be safe. Someone who will not neglect your children, or treat them badly.


This is the problem, I think, with simply seeing your nanny job as a means to an end, or as strictly a business relationship. (or, from the parents' end, simply seeing your nanny as a common house servant). Dadboss and I had this discussion just last week. I was telling him that I have seen some nannies who seem to merely view their position as a 'job'. Oh, they may do their 'job' well. But it's just that - a job. And the relationship with the family, or at least the parents, is pretty impersonal and businesslike. I believe that, of course, there is a business aspect to the relationship that is just that. However, one must find a balance between the business and the personal. For what I am doing as a nanny, I believe, is very personal. I am caring for someone's child, basically replacing the parent-position when they are not home. I am in their house, taking care of it on a daily basis, cooking their meals. There is a vast level of personalness there. It goes beyond just doing my job, and doing it well.

Maybe some parents want that, the businesslike relationship with no personal interest in their nanny as an individual, or as an important influence on the children and therefore the family itself. Seen only for the job she does and nothing more. Maybe some nannies are comfortable with that. I am not one in either category who would want that, as an family-service employee or as one who might hire a care giver for my own children. As a parent, I want whoever is caring for my children to actually care, as well as be skilled. And caring for the children that one nannies involves caring for the family from which the children come.

I read sometime ago someone say that nannies who think that families actually care about them are fooling themselves. They will cut you if needed, and won't think twice.

This is true in most cases. I don't fully agree that all families would not think twice, but bottom line is, people must make decisions in their life and sometimes those decisions are tough to make when times require it. This does not necessarily mean that the families do not care at all.

I mean, I love the kids I care for, and I adore the family. I go over and beyond for them in many ways, and they reciprocate that as well. I do things like that because I want to, because I do care how it impacts them. They do things for me over and beyond for the same reason, because they greatly appreciate me.

But if I ever had a choice to make involving the well being of my own children and family, then I would have to choose my family's well being. If there was a schedule change with my husband, or we had to move.......I would have no choice. It would be very hard, and I would be very concerned about the impact on my bosses and charges, and I would do all I could to help make the transition as easy as I could until they found a replacement -- but only as I was able.

Why are parents expected to do any less?

Yes, some do not care much. Just as there are some nannies who really do not care all that much either.