Well, THAT Didn't Take Long!

This is the second time in my nanny career that I've ignored my gut feeling and went with something because I was getting a tad frustrated with the search.

This time, the money was the lure.

So.....I got fired after only working a week. The father called and was very nice, saying that they had been talking extensively and just felt it wasn't a good fit. He went on to assure me that it had nothing to do with my qualifications, as obviously I am very experienced and qualified, nor did it have to do with the way I was caring for the children. The "fit" just wasn't there.

I have to be honest; I am quite relieved, as I was already lying in bed at night, dreading going in and thinking of when and how I would quit this job when the time came because I knew it would come, and soon. I was trying to give it a bit more time, because those first few weeks can be a bit awkward as you get used to the family, and the job. Also, a few more paychecks would have been nice, too, before throwing in the towel.

In the end, I sincerely believe it all boils down to the mother, and whatever mental issues she has. She came across as very emotionally needy, and anxious. I had the feeling from the beginning that I was there for her just as much as the babies. The whole environment was very different than anything else I'd ever worked, and quite uncomfortable. And I am not one to give attention to emotionally needy adults. My job is to care for children which, by the way, also didn't seem to be their primary focus.

My last nanny family told me about the reference call they had received from the father. My former MomBoss told me that she got a strange vibe, and that the father of the current family was more concerned with whether or not I would do housework than how I was with the children. He seemed surprised, my former MomBoss said, when she told him that she didn't require much housework of me, as she wanted me to focus on her children. He was shocked that she allowed me to take the kids on outings, that she ~gasp~ TRUSTED me with her children.

My former MomBoss also told me he had called her three different times, and that she talked to him twice and decided to ignore his third call cuz she had already told him everything he needed to know. The third call he made to her was apparently 2 days after he had decided to hire me, and a day before I actually started.

I also had the suspicion that they were still looking even after I started the job. Their job posting remained up, and I overheard the MomBoss talking to her cook while I was in the other room, and much of what she was sang indicated that they may have still been interviewing people. I wasn't eavesdropping: I was folding the baby's laundry and could actually hear her from where I was.

I am curious if anyone else has worked in an environment where it seemed you were expected to pay more attention to the parent than the kids?

This is the second job I've been fired from in my life, and the first was at 19 when I worked in a Baptist preschool and got pregnant and wasn't married! A couple of years later, they re-hired me and I worked for them for 7 years until I moved out of state.

All I can say is, I am confident that it's not me that is the problem here. Every single family I've worked for, I still have good relations with them.

I think the mother's deep insecurities and unrealistic expectations are the problem.

I mean, come on......I was the 5th nanny they'd hired in 9 months. The first two they claimed they fired. The last one quit suddenly, with no notice. The other is unaccounted for, but obviously didn't stick around long in any case.

What does that say??

New Job, New Family and Uncertainty

Where do I even begin? It's been so long.  I don't even know.

The interview went well, and throughout the weekend, the husband was e-mailing me contracts and tax forms and such. So I corresponded with him mostly, and he was rather easy to correspond with.

Started on Monday and here are my observations from this first week.

The mom is high strung. I kinda knew this going in. She is very regimented and inflexible but, for the sake of me, is trying very hard to appear flexible....but she's not, and I can see through it. 

That's ok. She has hired me to do a job, and I am in her house, so I will do it the way she wants.

They've got cameras everywhere, inside and out, and keep the doors locked at all times. There are alarms on all the doors, so anytime one is opened, there is a chime inside. Listening to her talk about things gives me the impression that she is a somewhat fearful and anxious person. 

I knew already that she doesn't want shoes worn in the house. I wore sandals on my first day and took them off. She mentioned more than once about my bringing socks to the house and leaving them, so I can wear those through the house.

She gets totally uptight if I walk out onto the covered sunroom (brick floor) in my socks, or out into the attached garage in my socks. I need to put shoes on, then take them off again as I am coming in. When carrying in bags from the car in the garage, this is a pain. But, I do it.

They have had 4 nannies already come and go, and the babies are less than a year old. She claims the frost 2 nannies lied and stole from them. This could be true.

The last nanny quit suddenly, by text. She feels greatly betrayed by this, and has been obsessing over it. She told me how she really liked her, and how she was really good with the twins. She told me they were very good to her, gave her the hours she wanted and paid her what she wanted (less than me), although she (the nanny) was very demanding and wouldn't do any extra work outside of simply caring for the babies. Being how the babies are sleeping for 4 hours total between the 8-4 timeframe this woman worked, that's half the working day.

Now, I am willing to do some housework, but I also told them I am not a housekeeper, and I don't expect anything other than the light housekeeping (loading/unloading dishwasher, doing a bit of vacuuming, taking out garbage and changing bags, etc) along with the normal cleanup that comes from the children's care, to be part of my official duties. Many times I will do things beyond light housekeeping, but that is on my own because I feel like it, and it's not something that is usually part of being a nanny. If you want your house cleaned, hire a housekeeper. She tried to give me windows. I told her no. 

She had me sweeping the front porch yesterday. The broom she gave me sucked, plus I am very bad at actual sweeping. This is not a joke. My brain has never been able to organize around how to sweep effectively. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. In my own home, I use floor vas and may sweep small spaces, or spot sweep.

The babies are on a strict schedule. Eat (that takes about an hour to implement), play and sleep. They get a bath every morning. Their naps are from 10-12 and from 2-4 (while I am there), and it doesn't matter if they wake up early, or don't wanna go down. They are in bed from those time periods, regardless.

The house is so NOT child friendly. I am holding my breath to see how that plays out. They have marble everything. Floors, counters. She says that water stains marble, and leaves water spots, so she is ultra obsessed with any spot of water on these surfaces. Mind you, these are surfaces she has chosen for her kitchen counters and her bathroom counters. You know, near sinks and liquid.

Talking to her has been ok, and she is very, very guarded. I've come to realize, tho, that she is someone who is hyper focused on someone's words and mannerisms, and constantly analyzing them for any perceived indication of the slightest negative view of her, or them. 

She's been asking me a lot about my last nanny family, and I have told her about how my job was there. I, personally, think it's a GOOD thing to be on good terms with past employers. I would think that shows how amiable I am, with various families. They seemed to think so too, but she seems to view it as a threat. Like, I think my last family is better. Like I want her and her husband to be like my last family, and am negatively comparing her and hubby to my last family. She said "you talk about them a lot and it seems you miss them."

I talk about them because she outright ASKS about them.

So, after that last statement, she went on to talk about how everyone they know are like them, and that they HAVE to be so regimented or life would be chaotic, and they wouldn't be able to function.

Ummmm......ok? I never questioned your way of life. My last family WAS somewhat chaotic. Well, actually, their household was downright chaos.

I've not asked them to be different than they are. She asked about my job there, and what it entailed and I told her. I pretty much had free rein. Their house isn't like that, and I can adapt to that. The families are different, and that's not negative. But she seems to view this as negative.

So, she asked me yesterday, "So, we are at the end of our first week. What do you think? How are you feeling?"

She asked.

I simply said, "It's very different than what I am used to, and I am still getting used to expectations."

This is true, and not bad. She just has so many rules, and before the family was like "yeah, whatever you wanna do, and however you wanna do it."

It's different, and so getting acclimated will take a bit longer as I learn her dos and don'ts and how tos.

She went on a ramble then, almost crying, really, about how she liked how she was, and they have to run their household this way or it would be chaos, etc etc......

I told her it wasn't negative, that all families are different and do what works for them, and that being "different" wasn't bad, it's just.....different. And different takes time to get used to, is all. It's like anything else, I told her. You get a new boss, and your new boss is different than your old one. It's not bad, but getting used to the different expectations can take a bit of time.

She said it was hard not to take it negatively, cuz it sounded like I loved my old family.

Yes, I did. WHY is that an issue?? I've only known you a week.

It was hard not to take negatively, because I talk so positively about them all the time.

Yes. But ONLY because you directly ASK me. I don't walk around and say "my previous family did it this way, or that way."

Not to mention, she told me that one of the interviewees they rejected BECAUSE she talked so badly about her previous families.

Later, I caught her in the laundry room and said, "Look, don't stress about this. Really."

Again, she almost started crying and was like "The last nanny just did us so badly, and we were really good to her. It's really kinda messed with my head, and I don't want to trust anyone else, or have to go through looking for childcare again."

I just replied with, "I don't want you to be upset and stressing over your perception of what you think I feel. Because, I don't feel negatively about you all. So please do not get yourself all worked up over what you think I am feeling."

Oy!

More.......

She doesn't work. And she doesn't really do much of anything else. I actually think part of the reason for my being there, other than to spare her having to take care of her children, is to also keep her company. She mentioned how she is almost never alone in the house. She has a lady who comes once a week and cooks for her for the week, all of her meals. She sits and talks to her and gossips (apparently they know many of the same people) while the woman is cooking. However, the day before the lady came this week, the mother tossed out all the food this woman had made from LAST week. She didn't eat it. As a matter of fact, she called me on the way to her house on Wed, asking me to stop by a fast food place for her. Yet, she complains about hubby eating nothing but junk, and I've not actually seen her eat any of the prepared food just for her from her personal cook and dietician.

When she leaves, she shops and comes back with a bunch of stuff for the house. 

She told me she "gets in trouble" for spending so much money.

She does nothing during the day but sit around on her phone. One day, she didn't get out of her pajamas until noon.

I mean, that last part I totally relate to! I don't get out of my pajamas either, if I can help it.

We will see how things progress. I am not certain if I will last in this job for long, but damn....the pay is really good. 

LunchTime Frustrations

I've vented my frustration with the employer's pantry before.

It's difficult to come up with lunches each day for the kids that incorporate a complete meal. Already, when I am not here, the kids pretty much graze. A cracker or two here, piece of fruit there, a granola bar, a cereal bar, goldfish or Cheerios sprinkled on the table, maybe a cheese stick.

When I am in the house, we operate with a bit of organization. The little ones sit in their seats for meals. Those seats and countertop gets cleaned, right after their faces and hands are wiped. I try very hard at lunch to include a lean protein, and vegetables. This is because, when I started, the oldest child was the only child. She was a toddler still herself, and ate in this same way. Her food consisted basically of cherry tomatoes, strawberries, cereal, and Gogurts. The child wouldn't eat much of anything else, although at 3 1/2 she has a more varied diet because of what I put before her.

With the twins, I made it a point to offer veggies before fruit. They love broccoli, and even Brussel Sprouts!

What I have the most trouble with is varying up the protein. I'll usually give them half a cheese stick apiece, and a couple of crackers for snack. Or I pull out a yogurt cup and feed them. Those things are almost always around.

At lunch, Momboss seems to think deli meats torn up should suffice. This is not a bad thing to do sometimes, but I find the twins tend to not like it very much. Besides, who wants to eat it everyday?

There is almost never any kind of meat in the house.

The problem is the way the shopping is done. Momboss goes out almost every day to get the few items she may need to make dinner. She may grab some fruit or yogurt, but for the most part, what would give me lunch options is hardly considered.

There have been times I often give her a list and she will pick stuff up.

I guess I need to do that more often. Today, I scrounged up a sweet potato, an apple, and a chicken breast (only in the freezer because I asked mom to buy a bag). I did quick recipe searches and came up with something.

This.

http://lowfatcooking.about.com/od/sidedishes/r/sweetpotatoappl.htm

Except I also added a chicken breast.

Momboss came in after she got back from the gym (and getting HER breakfast out), and said, "yum!yum!" As she watched me chop.

I wanted to say, "you have no food!! Go to the store!"

She'd only come back with her own cereal, special mineral water, and maybe some strawberries.

I know I should have done this sooner, but I think I am going to plan lunches out a week ahead of time and make out lists to give to MB.

I'm Going CRAZY!

This displacement that's been going on since January is wearing on me. It's plain difficult to care for the kids properly.

Momboss says next week the majority of renovations should be completed.

I've taken most of it in stride. I'm adaptable. We've made do. I've nannied at the grandparents' house, kept kids in basement or out of the house for most of the day while extensive work is being done. I've noted in another entry the difficulty in keeping the kids in the basement. Blocking the steps, running upstairs to grab food and bottles or more diapers if we run out. Nobody seems to be able to find the monitors, so when anyone is napping on 3rd floor, I run up and down constantly listening for waking children.

This week, renovations have ramped up. There are stone layers laying the chimney. Guys putting in tile backsplash in the kitchen, as well as finishing cabinets. Painters are here. And the cleaning people came. Really?? Amid the dust covering the floor more every second due to sanding drywall, and smoothing stone? Amid the toys strewn all over from the kids being allowed to drag everything out of boxes at will?

On top of that, every day I come in, basic stuff I need for the kids has been moved. I can't find where the dishes have been put. We are out of whole milk for the toddlers. Bottles are littered throughout every level of the house. And guess what else??

I went to make a bottle for the infant, and can't find any formula anywhere. Thinking it's just been moved, I tore everything apart looking for it. Upstairs, downstairs, looking for boxes that might have any.

Finally texted Momboss.

Oops, we're out. Will bring home more.

I have a screaming, hungry 2 month old!

Sigh.

I really, really hope we are back to some kind of order next week as Momboss promises!

Snakes in the Basement!

So, the last 8-9 months have proven to be very interesting. In that time frame, Momboss announced she was pregnant again (just months after giving birth to the twins), they sold their house and had to give it up for immediate occupancy before finding a house for themselves.

So, we all moved into the grandparents basement for 3 months. During this time, a house they were buying fell through when the owner of the house died and the family decided on different terms for the sale.

It was all chaos.

Eventually, we all made the move to the new house. It had been vacant for quite a long time, however. It was also a very outdated house on the inside. Major renovations started on the outside and the inside. This consisted of knocking down walls, tearing out fixtures, knocking out bricks from the fireplace. I was dealing with crawling babies finding nails, rocks, and pieces of drywall on the floor and joyfully eating it.

The kitchen was barely usable. The dishwasher didn't work so I was doing dishes by hand. I was digging for food, pots and pans and anything else I needed out of boxes since cabinets were being torn out due to a complete gutting of the kitchen. No one had bought any baby gates yet for this 3 level mansion. We were hanging out in the basement all day, eating in the kitchen, and kids were napping on the 3rd level in their rooms. This was a lot of not being able to do some of the most basic of things without worrying about babies climbing and falling down steps. Especially since there was a 3 yr old who did know how to traverse stairs and would sometimes start screaming in her room during naptime (throwing a fit) to having a potty accident in her pants (she went through a horrible regression stage after moving). This would lead me to having to ignore her for a few minutes, since running to check on her immediately would require leaving the babies alone trying to follow me. I would have to take one at a time to the kitchen, strap them in their seats, THEN go run and find out what 3 yr old S needed.

This was exhausting. We spent a good portion of our time out of the house once the weather got nice.

Then enter the snakes.

Momboss came home one day while I was feeding the twins. She went to the basement, where we had just been that morning. She came upstairs in a panic, saying there was a huge snake in the room where the toys were. She called her husband at work. Then she called a pest control company but they were unable to send anyone out anytime soon.

Dadboss ordered Momboss to sit and watch the snake.

"Don't let it get into the walls!" he said. "They'll have to tear all the walls out to get it!"

I told Momboss that was not true, tearing the walls out, but that they'd set traps.

She sat and watched the snake, since Dadboss would not be able to come home for another 45 minutes. She kept saying that she would not sleep in the house with snakes.

45 minutes later, Dadboss showed up. He went straight into the basement.

By this time, the twins were in their beds up on the 3rd level taking a nap. Me and 3 yr old S were in the kitchen.

This is what I heard coming from downstairs:

Dadboss: Let's get this shit taken care of!

Momboss: No, you can't shoot it! You're going to blow a hole in the wall and floor!!

Dadboss: What do you want me to do, then?

Momboss: I don't know, but you can't just shoot. You don't know what's inside of the walls! There could be pipes or.....

Dadboss: I tell you what, then. I am going back to work. When you figure out what you want me to do, then you call me back, okay?

Silence.

I heard footsteps on the stairs as Momboss and a worker from tearing out walls come up the stairs.

Momboss looked pretty pissed and unhappy.

The worker was laughing. "He's got a shotgun out! Cover your ears!"

I moved hastily over to S to put my hands over her ears, and no sooner had I done so, a shot rang out. Then another.

Hole in the Wall where the snake met its demise

"One shot should do it!!" Momboss yelled from the kitchen.

I went to the top of the steps and shouted down into the basement, "I'm NOT cleaning it up!"

I then heard the shop vac start up.

Then Dadboss and Momboss going in and out of the garage with shovels and plastic bags.

I told Momboss that she should call the cleaning lady and tell her we had an "incident" in the basement, and could she come clean up some blood?

She was not amused!

It's Been Awhile!

Wow! I can't believe I left this blog sitting as long as I did!

Actually, yes I can! It's been quite a year, and I've been very busy with that "new" family I mentioned last April.

You know, the one that only had one child at the time? A two year old?

Well.

Since that time, THREE more children have been born into the family. No joke!! So now I have FOUR kids that I nanny. As you can probably imagine, that keeps me pretty busy!

And boy, do I have some stories!

It's been about 18 months since I first started with this family, and I still really like the family a lot! The extended family is also very involved, so I get to see and spend quite a bit of time around them as well. Some people may not care for that, but I really enjoy it. They (the extended family included) all treat me like a part of the family. When Momboss' sister comes in town, I often keep her kids too, for extra pay of course.

Write soon!!

I Don't Understand

I've seen comments and posts in other places about nannies complaining about their market value, and the complaints that those who work for less harm what they want to make, or how they want to dictate what consumers pay.

It's valid, to a degree. I can see someone being upset about their value having gone down. The bottom line is, this happens in the market all the time. None of us ever get, or keep, what we would like to maintain in anything. Housing values fluctuate. Prices of other services, and goods, fluctuate. It's called supply and demand. And when you're the consumer, and prices go down, you like it.

The concept is very simple. When the demand for a particular service, or item, is high and the supply is not high enough to keep up with that demand, premium price ensues. When demand is low, and supply is plenty, the price goes down.

It does get broken down a bit more than that oversimplified paragraph. Let's have an economics lesson, shall we?

1. If demand increases and supply remains unchanged then higher equilibrium price and unchanged quantity. (this means that if more parents suddenly want to hire nannies but more nannies have not entered the market, then nanny wages may go up a bit as parents compete for nannies)
2. If demand decreases and supply remains the same then lower equilibrium price and unchanged quantity. (if less people want/need nannies say, due to a recession ~ahem~ then there will be an overabundance of nannies in the market and the wages one is willing to work for to land a hard-to-get job will be lower - cheaper - as the nannies compete for jobs)
3. If supply increases and demand remains unchanged then lower equilibrium price and higher quantity. (if a buncha nannies suddenly enter the market to compete in the unchanging demand for nannies by parents, wages will decrease as even more nannies compete for the same jobs)
4. If supply decreases and demand remains the same then higher price and lower quantity. (if nannies suddenly decided to pursue other career options and left the market, but the same number of parents need nannies, then wages for nannies will go up because there are fewer nannies to go around and parents want to make sure they attract and keep one; also, nannies will realize if a family does not give them the wage they desire that they have a slew of other families who may )

I get really irked at nannies who try to dictate to others who are willing to work for a certain price that they can not do so because of what THEY want. I get irked at nannies who dictate that parents can not hire someone with qualifications that they (the nannies) do not deem high enough, at a price that both parties agree to, because THEY want to make a certain amount of money at all times. It's like saying, "unless you pay what I think you should pay, then you can NOT have a nanny or personal care provider in your home, even if you and that person mutually agree on the price. I should dictate the pay, not the market. And because of that, people who do not want their kids in daycare should have to do so unless they pay what I say. People who are willing to work for $10/hour (or minimum wage) should NOT be able to get a job as a nanny, which may have more flexibility than another job for the same amount, because I do not like the fact that my field is competitive."  Supply and demand dictates this.

Now, I understand  the whole issue with illegal immigrants, or migrant workers in general. In some areas, this is a big factor in the supply and demand force. If they're legal, what are you gonna do? Bottom line is, you've got supply and demand still at work, and yes it sucks, but it's still how it works. You are only worth what consumers dictate in their willingness to pay, not what you dictate. If consumers are not willing to pay beyond a certain price for services that they can get much cheaper, and with which they are satisfied, then why shouldn't they? I understand it's less than what high-end nannies want, and I understand the complaints.

I just think telling people they can not hire who they want, at the price they want if the supply is there is presumptuous. Lots of people have been out of jobs, and making ends meet in the best ways they know. This means nannies willing to work for less, and parents not willing to pay premium price for the same service they can get cheaper elsewhere.

If two people have an agreement, it's no one else's business. If I am absolutely fine to work for less than $10 an hour, who are you to tell me I can not?? To say two people can not enter into a legal arrangement because it does not measure up to your own standards is arrogant.

Lots of people have lost a lot during the recession. Suck it up and take the hit like everyone else has.

You're not exempt.

Spring Planting

The weather is nice and what better activity to do with young children than to take them out to plant and show them first hand where some of our food comes from?

I try and make a point to plant the kinds of things the kids like to eat.



This meant that for the boys, we chose strawberries and a blueberry plant.

For the girl in my new family, we chose cherry tomatoes (she loooooves them).

This makes kids excited, too. They love growing their own food, and eating the food that they grow.

They love learning what it takes to be responsible for the growth, and the pride I see in their eyes as they take on this task is like no other.

It's one of the biggest proofs that work does indeed create pride in accomplishment!

Things are About to Start Hopping

It's been awhile, I know.

The job with the family I have been with for a few years is coming to an end in a few weeks. The family has never needed summer care, and next year the boys will be in school full time. Over the last 6 months, my schedule has basically consisted of one or two days a week, so I continued to look for a position where I could supplement the rest of the week and hopefully end up with a long term position after this current one ended. I knew the ending was coming this year, so have been looking since the Fall.

I have been in contact with a few families, but usually for one reason or another, things just didn't match up exactly. I am flexible in many, many ways. However, I know what I am worth and, unfortunately, there are many parents who seem to expect private, tailored, in-home care (and general house management, as it seems many of them want) should be cheaper than putting their child in institutional child care centers. The condescension I see in some advertisements have me appalled sometimes. They act like you're just gonna sit on the couch and text all day while the child runs around in poopy pants and tears up the house.

I mean, yes I sit down sometimes. I need to. Don't YOU get a break at work?

I know many other nannies get cheesed off at this attitude too. A parent makes it clear that your work in their home is not even worth minimum wage. They expect a pseudo-parent, housekeeper, laundress, teacher, chauffeur and cook then want to claim the measly wage they grudgingly cough up as a deduction, making you earn even less while jipping you of your working rights.

No thanks. I will work in a day care before becoming your house slave.

Anyhoo, the point of that little side rant is that it took several months to finally find someone who matched what I know I want in a job. Luckily, I can be picky and wait for what I want. And it finally came along.

The job is a....well, a combination of mother's helper/house manager/nanny. Mom does not work, but is very involved in many community businesses and boards. So she is gone often, but sometimes home. So far (and it's only been a few months) everyone, including the grandparents who often come by, seem to be totally laid back and open to letting me do things in the way I see fit. There is no micro-managing. The grandmother has told me more than once, 'just go ahead and take over. That's what they want.' (Meaning, house decisions).

There are so many good things about this job so far. It pays well more than the average pay for our area. I am not (so far) being micro managed and am encouraged to make the decisions on outings, activities and dinner. If I mention I wanna make something special, she is like, "Sure!" and leaves her credit card. They are just starting their family (one child so far who is 2, but twins on the way and plans for more kids), so that means probable long term.

And, the schedule is super flexible. Right now, we go week by week with scheduling. Mom asks me what I have for the following couple of weeks that I need, and then she schedules her own appointments around it.

So far, I feel so very lucky.

Dinner Woes

You know what I really don't like about my job?

Dinner.

Actually, I like to cook. And I normally don't mind dinner.

Except......

What I really dislike is trying to figure out what meal to make with what is in the house. It throws me off, all the time. I may have an idea, but be missing one or two ingredients. Or find a side dish that goes really well with it would be impossible to make based on what is in the cupboard. And the fact that making a grocery list, or planning a menu, or going to the grocery is not part of my job makes it even more difficult. I almost wish I had that extra chore, so I could plan a menu and make out a list for what is needed.

At the very beginning, I actually did do that. Plan ahead, I mean, and then give MomBoss a list of what ingredients I would need in the house to make that happen. And MomBoss was pretty good about making sure I had it, but I sometimes got the feeling she wasn't always super thrilled with my planned meal if it was out of the norm of what she usually bought.

A few times I bought ingredients because I wanted to try out a recipe.

Then sometimes MomBoss would leave a note saying, "I was thinking Lasagna tonight", or something of the sort, with a recipe card out along with it. And actually, I liked that. It gave me direction. Not that I need direction, per se. But when I have no hand in really planning a grocery list or menu, and have to rummage through the fridge or pantry trying to put together a meal, it gets frustrating. I'd like to plan and know what to expect.

I am currently interviewing for another job to add more hours to my current one, since the boys are now in preschool and I am not needed as much. The next family has an almost two year old, and a set of twins on the way. Mom actually wants errands and meal prep in addition to childcare.

I think what I am going to propose is this:

I will plan out a weekly, bi weekly, or monthly menu and submit it to MomBoss for approval (until I get a feel for who likes what). When it is approved, I will make out a grocery list and buy what I need to make the meals.

I will feel so much more accomplished that way!

Job Searching Tales Continued

I thought I had a bite!

It was interesting, really. I applied for a long term position with a schedule that sounded workable for me. However, after playing e-mail and phone tag due to a busy Memorial Day weekend for my family and the potential employer family, the prospective MB and I finally got on the phone together.

She explained their needs and we had a long conversation about expectations and a possible meeting date.

Then came the question: what was my rate?

Really? It was clearly posted.

So I tell her. It's two kids, one a toddler. It includes driving around and taking the kids places, which is very cool. I love a parent who gives me free reign on outings.

She insisted on paying $2 below the low end of the going rate in our area. She felt like I was a great match, but they were unwilling to go up $2 an hour from their anticipated pay rate.

No go.

I had a man contact me about a position in his home for his children. I asked the normal questions, what were the duties and hours and days needed?

I truly do not understand people. I mean, really. You want private care and you want to pay less than daycare rates.

He told me their family's expectations. Early morning, get older kids ready for school, fix breakfast for all, transport to school.

No biggie.

Take baby to scheduled classes, like music. Do educational activities with baby. Pick up child who goes to school half day, fix lunch, put kids down for naps, do laundry, change all beds, sweep, vacuum. Get kids up, pick up older child from school come home, help with homework, start dinner, play with kids (no tv). Some grocery errands as needed.

Possible that some nights I would need to stay to put kids to bed, in which case I would be responsible for baths and making sure backpacks and lunches were in order for the next day for the school aged kids.

Pay? $200-$250 a week. Oh, and no gas reimbursement for trips unless I drove more than 10 miles in a single trip.

Never mind that I could easily go over 10 miles a day in all the little single trips combined together.

Oh, and they had a dog who was their 'baby' before their kids came along. Any nanny taking the job would need to be willing to treat DOG as the first child and given as much attention as the kids so she didn't feel left out.

YES. I SWEAR TO YOU. The DOG!

What do you think I said to THAT fine offer?

Job Seeking

Wow, has it really been months since I last updated?

A lot going on in my nanny world! I am officially looking for employment again. the family I worked for won't need me again until Fall, and even then my hours will be way down from before because both boys will be in school most of the week. I've told former MB that if I find a job that allows me to work the one day a week they will need me, that I will do so. But in the meantime, I am looking for more full time work.

I was planning to just take the summer off, and am looking for jobs that have start dates for mid August or Fall. I can afford to do that, as my husband is the main wage earner and we can live quite comfortably on his income alone. However, I came across a job 2 weeks ago that was too good to pass up, that had a start date of immediately, so I applied and interviewed for this job.

The funny thing is, this couple ended up taking a much, much cheaper option of in home daycare. These were people offering between $32000 - $38000 a year for a nanny working 25-40 hours! When we got into the discussion about what is required tax-wise, etc, this corporate executive mother got very confused. Seriously, she abandoned a private nanny over the issue of employer taxes for an unlicensed in-home center that is now costing her probably about $4000 a year?!??!!

My mind is boggled.

But nevermind that......

This has lent me to now kick around the idea of actively seeking for summer, altho I am still not certain I wanna work during summer. The hours and pay would just have to be right, and I am lucky enough to be picky and wait.

Another note: I had a woman pursuing me on a care site, and the hours sounded good. The start date was mid-August, also good. So, in interest, I sent back a reply to this woman's request asking for more details, including that of her pay.

She wrote back giving me all the details I had asked for, except the one about pay.

Now, I am not trying to be a biddy. But with gas prices the way they are, I don't see any need to waste anyone's time on setting up interviews and getting hopes up when something that is a deal breaker can be noted upfront. I am efficient like that, and I admit not everyone appreciates it! When initially corresponding, I make certain the hours, days and pay specifically match up between us or I see no sense in wasting anyone's time. I've been tangled up with too many parents who say things to get me 'in', only to switch the game around to something I very clearly do not want. Like with the Indian couple who pursued me and said they would be flexible and all when I stated that it didn't seem the hours they needed a nanny matched what I wanted in a schedule. Once they got me 'in' tho.....they changed all of that, Added on hours and lessened pay.

Ummmm.....no.

IMO, all of that can be avoided. I believe in communicating clearly. In the case of this mother who didn't answer my question, I wrote her back again and told her everything she said sounded good. However, my minimum charge was X, and that was solely for the care of the baby and the cleaning associated only with my being there (meaning I clean up the messes baby and I made while there). If she wanted extra housework, laundry, etc, the charge would be more. I asked her, was this within her range?

I never heard back. Oh well.

Another family, just a few weeks ago, also started pursuing me. I asked the father (who contacted me) for details. Days, hours? He simply said, "8 hours a day 5 days a week"

Well, THAT told me NOTHING. Not to mention, my former family knew of this family and sorta gave the advice to steer clear of them. So I did not write this guy back when he clearly did not answer my question for details.

He then wrote again. I told him it didn't appear as if my needs matched what they needed.

So then he had his wife email me. She was a tad more sociable, it seemed. I basically told her 'no'.

But then I changed my mind, and they had already found someone else!! LOL

Oh well again.

So, anyway, that is my update. I'll keep ya posted on the interesting stories as they happen!

Valentine's Day!

Life has been busy, both in the job and outside the job! I haven't had much time to update!

What we're doing today? The sun is out (finally) and the weather may be slightly decent. Besides going out and soaking in some much needed rays, we plan to cook today! Here is one of our cooking projects - http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/heart-tarts-975751/

And for Momma, the boys and I are going to make some chocolate covered strawberries to go with their handmade cards. So, busy day planned!!!

Happy Valentines Day to everyone! I'd be interested in what fun you have planned for your charges!

Just a Job?

It's tough out there.

Hubby and I were talking about the competition in the nanny field vs years ago, before the internet. Sure, you could go through an agency or newspaper ad, but you couldn't just daily browse ads with ease and 'shop around', so to speak, as you can easily do today. I would imagine for parents that it is exceedingly frightening to know the nanny you love could up and leave at any moment because she found something that pays better, is closer, or has a better schedule/duties for the money. (on the same note, maybe many don't really care.) 

Not all nannies are looking for 'something better', so to speak. Sometimes, jobs will fall in their laps because a parent looking will see a profile.

The parents, of course, have a plethora of nannies to choose from. But they have an extra burden, one that nannies carry as well but not to the degree, and with the same implications, as parents do. It's the finding someone with whom your children will be safe. Someone who will not neglect your children, or treat them badly.


This is the problem, I think, with simply seeing your nanny job as a means to an end, or as strictly a business relationship. (or, from the parents' end, simply seeing your nanny as a common house servant). Dadboss and I had this discussion just last week. I was telling him that I have seen some nannies who seem to merely view their position as a 'job'. Oh, they may do their 'job' well. But it's just that - a job. And the relationship with the family, or at least the parents, is pretty impersonal and businesslike. I believe that, of course, there is a business aspect to the relationship that is just that. However, one must find a balance between the business and the personal. For what I am doing as a nanny, I believe, is very personal. I am caring for someone's child, basically replacing the parent-position when they are not home. I am in their house, taking care of it on a daily basis, cooking their meals. There is a vast level of personalness there. It goes beyond just doing my job, and doing it well.

Maybe some parents want that, the businesslike relationship with no personal interest in their nanny as an individual, or as an important influence on the children and therefore the family itself. Seen only for the job she does and nothing more. Maybe some nannies are comfortable with that. I am not one in either category who would want that, as an family-service employee or as one who might hire a care giver for my own children. As a parent, I want whoever is caring for my children to actually care, as well as be skilled. And caring for the children that one nannies involves caring for the family from which the children come.

I read sometime ago someone say that nannies who think that families actually care about them are fooling themselves. They will cut you if needed, and won't think twice.

This is true in most cases. I don't fully agree that all families would not think twice, but bottom line is, people must make decisions in their life and sometimes those decisions are tough to make when times require it. This does not necessarily mean that the families do not care at all.

I mean, I love the kids I care for, and I adore the family. I go over and beyond for them in many ways, and they reciprocate that as well. I do things like that because I want to, because I do care how it impacts them. They do things for me over and beyond for the same reason, because they greatly appreciate me.

But if I ever had a choice to make involving the well being of my own children and family, then I would have to choose my family's well being. If there was a schedule change with my husband, or we had to move.......I would have no choice. It would be very hard, and I would be very concerned about the impact on my bosses and charges, and I would do all I could to help make the transition as easy as I could until they found a replacement -- but only as I was able.

Why are parents expected to do any less?

Yes, some do not care much. Just as there are some nannies who really do not care all that much either.

Update on Former Employer

In my last entry, I told the story of a couple from whom I had accepted a job for an infant nanny. It was an uncomfortable situation, and didn't work out from the get go. I handled it as professionally as I could, and cut it off as soon as I knew it was not going to work (which was only 2 days in) so as to not waste any more time that the parents would need to find another nanny before the Mom went back to work.

This past week, as I said, I had come across the mother on the care site where I had initially found the job. She was advertising for another nanny. It's only been 2 months since I had left, and 1 month since she has returned to work from maternity leave. I had maintained that she would NOT be able to find a quality nanny who would stay long term for what she wanted to pay, while also changing terms as she saw fit. I was curious as to what happened to the nanny they found after me. (yes, yes, I wanted to see if I was , indeed, CORRECT) So I sent her a friendly message, giving her the link to a local nanny community site where she could look at some local nanny profiles for free, and even place her ad, for free.

Here is her reply to me :

Hello [Nanny Me], 

Good to hear from you and I am over being upset now :)

Initially I did think that you were just not liking us or [the baby], which is why you did not want to continue, but I then decided to give you the benefit of the doubt... And thank you for sending this site - I had to re-advertise for a nanny because the one we found after you left, cheated on us and actually left one day without saying anything while [the baby] was sleeping ! And she also stole from us ! Very upsetting and shocking because we treated her very well and trusted her..anyhow, we found someone else but it has been tough... Hope you and your family are doing good. And Merry Xmas / Happy Holidays to you all !


I am curious as to how this new nanny will work out.

Why do I care? I don't, really. But I do have a curiosity on how things work out, and I also don't like to truly burn bridges.

Former Employer - Kinda

Just something interesting I ran into this week.......

The job I have now initially started out only 12 hours, and only temporary. However, ideally I wanted steady hours and more money.

I had accepted a job from an Indian couple. These people pursued me. I had an ad on a care site, specifically stating my hours. The mother contacted me and said she really liked my profile and would like to talk to me about a job. At first, I blew her off. Once I saw on her own profile what her needs were, they did not fit what my availability was, and I said as much to her.

She turned around and said that she realized that, but they liked my profile so much that they were willing to be flexible on the start times. They wanted someone at 8 a.m. and I could not start until 9 a.m. They wanted someone until 5:30 and my limit was 5:00 pm.

I turned in my head that maybe this could work. I really did not want 40 hours, but was also not having much luck finding jobs with the limited availability I had. I liked the idea of a lot of flexibility (which is what I have now). However, a job is a job so, against my better judgment, I went and met these parents.

They interviewed me, and the interview was not bad, per se. But it was not comfortable. They told me they'd call by the end of the week with a decision, as they were interviewing other candidates.

At the end of the week, the mother called me. She no longer sounded composed and sure of herself. She was nervous, talked in a rush, as she offered me the job. She seemed apprehensive that I would not accept. She told me what she and her husband would pay, which was $50 less a week than my lowest absolute-must-have amount. She quickly agreed to my lowest-absolute-must-have amount when I said her offer would not do. I still had qualms, but hey - it was a job. Plus, I wanted to give the family a chance despite my gut instinct. My gut instinct almost always proves to be correct, yet I still doubt it when I can not logically put my finger on why I am having that feeling.

Mom was on maternity leave still but was to return to her corporate job in a month. She asked me to start the following week, just twice a week at first, so she could show me her routine, and what needed to be done around the house, and also to help her wean the baby from the breast. She wanted to see my interaction and care hands on; I understand. This was her first child, and personally, this is a good move on a parent's part.

So, the first day came. I was not nervous, not really. Part of me wondered what she would be looking for. I did not yet know this baby, or her moods, so did not want that lack of knowledge to come across as not knowing what I was doing. When a parent is present, especially when everything is new, it is hard to know when I need to step in and take charge as if I was alone, or step back and allow Mom to do her thing. Grandmother was also in from India, so there were two doting maternal figures there with me.

The baby was adorable. The first thing I noticed was lack of a rocking chair. The couch was very modern and deep. When I say deep, I mean that the back of the couch was much further back than normal. This meant no support when I did actually sit with the baby, as my 4'11 frame would not allow me to comfortable scoot all the way back. Even the mom had extra pillows for herself to put behind her back when she sat with the baby.

This meant that the majority of the time I was holding the baby, including for feeding, I was standing or sitting straight up on the couch with no support. This started to hurt my back. I started to think, "I will be here from 9-5 all day every day with no supportive furniture holding this child." I talked to the mother about a rocking chair and she said they planned to get one.

Baby was not having the bottle thing. She wanted Mommy's boobies only. But that was okay; those things take time and I knew eventually she would catch on.

I talked immediately to the Mother about holidays. They were Hindu, and did not celebrate Christmas. That was okay. However, I told her straight away that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was not available to work as those were huge holidays for my family. She balked at the Christmas Eve "I have to work." she said. I re-iterated that most holidays were not a problem for me, but those were two days that were huge in our family and we traveled and I would not be able to work those days. She again stated she had to work. When I said nothing, she said, 'Well, it's usually slow and most people take off, so I could probably get off early." Again I said, "We will be traveling that day." and left it at that.

So later, before I leave on my first day, the mom started to talk to me about end times. She would probably need me until '6 or so' - her exact words.

RED flags went up. Changing the terms already? What did this mean in the future? I had already agreed to some 5:30 days, only because they were being flexible with my start times. But really, THEY pursued ME knowing my availability. I did not want to work past 5 pm. The reasons are my own children. Working past 5 pm on some days was okay, since they stay with their father half the time. However, for me to work past 5 pm on the days I had my own children overnight would make it senseless for me to take pick them up and take them home. The reason I was in child care was to find a tailored position so that I did NOT have to sacrifice what my children needed. And now these people, who pursued me and promised me flexibility on my needs, were now backing up?

No, this would not do. But, being me, I said nothing at the moment other than, "I am not sure that will work." I do not act in haste. I wanted to go home, think over the implications of staying or quitting, and sleep on it to make sure I was acting rationally to this unexpected news. She talked on, about how even 6 pm was too early to leave for her company, but she would just 'tell them' she had to do it. This told me that it was possible they would try to stretch the time out in the future.

It was clear what I needed to do.

The next day, I told her in a very businesslike manner that the position was not going to work out for me. I apologized, and told her that I was to blame, that I should not have taken the job in the first place. I told her I was voiding out the check she gave me for the inconvenience. I explained that I did not desire to work 45+ hours a week, that it would interfere with what I needed for my own family. I told her the reason I was in this field was for the flexibility that some parents' needs can over so that I could do what I needed for my own family. I told her I had a corporate degree, and if I wanted corporate hours I would work a corporate job for corporate pay. I told her that there were plenty of nannies looking for full time work, and that I wished her and her husband luck in finding someone who better matched their needs. (I didn't tell her that, for what she was paying, that she was unlikely to find a quality person who would stick around).

Her response only solidified my decision and gave me insight to what conflicts would have been like with these parents. She basically told me she did not believe my reasons for leaving the job, that she believed there was another reason. (I guess she assumed I accepted another job, which was not true). She said we could have discussed hours and pay if those were a problem (we already had and she made clear what they were and were not willing to do for pay). She said she and her husband had been very excited to find me, and thought I had done a great job with the baby while I was there, and were now very disappointed. Etc etc.....

I sent back the check, altho she had told me to keep it anyway, with another note saying I wished them well in finding someone who matched their needs, and that I did not understand why she thought I was lying to her about my reasons for leaving (why would I??).

I never heard from her again, but have wondered whether or not they found someone who would accept the hours and pay they had laid out.

I was on the care site looking for New Year's Eve jobs when I saw this mother had posted an ad. Two months after I had quit, and one month after she had gone back to work from maternity leave.

Makes me wonder.......

SNOW!!

Having lots of fun with the kiddos during the snow storms that have been in our area the last couple of weeks.. With Christmas right around the corner, it makes for such a magical time for the kids, I think. I recall being young, and Christmas time alone was such a magical time of year, and when snow was added, I remember it being absolutely surreal. I love thinking of that innocent time, and knowing that my preschool charges are in the throes of such a time!


So, snowmen are hard to make. Believe me, we tried. I spent a good portion of 30 minutes bundling the kids up in snow bibs, coats, hats, water proof gloves only for the 3 yr old to holler he needed to potty as soon as we stepped out the door. (yeah - I should have known better and sent them potty BEFORE bundling them. I got what I deserved, but I was SO excited!!)

So, after we spend another 20 minutes on that task, and getting re-bundled, we trekked back outside. We attempted a regular sized snowman, but it wasn't happening. So, we settled on a much smaller one. The kids foraged for twigs, which the dog really helped find (she eats them) and we used a baby carrot cut in half as the nose. They were excited, so that was the key.

They slept good for nap that afternoon.

The next day we did snow angels! What fun!





Afterward, we enjoyed hot cocoa and watched Frosty the Snowman on DVD.

THEN, this week, we went sledding! OMG, I haven't had this much fun for a long while. My own kids were out of school, and with Momboss' permission, we met my kids and their stepmother (who was keeping them for the snow day) at a small hill next to a school.

Everyone was bundled up and everyone had an absolute blast! I don't think my charges had ever gone sledding before, and they were in heaven! The hill was rather small, but to a 3 and 4 yr old, I am sure it was huge! We got lots of pictures and video, and my parent-bosses were thrilled to see it! The kids got excited all over again re-living their sledding day, and explained to their parents each and every moment of footage watched. 

This week, we plan to finish the Christmas crafts that I have had planned that we haven't done yet! We must take advantage of the snow, tho, as it comes! A white Christmas is expected too, which will make things that much more exciting for the kids. We don't get a white Christmas very often in this area!


Merry Christmas!!

I Love My Job!!

Things can be so hectic this time of year! Putting together crafts and fun trips and baking ideas for the kids to do, plus for me to do to help make the season special in my nanny 'family's house!

I will admit that what makes all the work worth it is knowing that my employers greatly appreciate and recognize the work and time put in.

Essentially, I am 'off' from this week through the beginning of January. There are a few days that the parent-boss' will need me as they run their own errands, specifically doing some shopping themselves and going to adult-only events. Momboss is still working, but she is off by evening. Dadboss works evenings, and goes to school during the day. He is off school, so they are basically playing tag in regards to who cares for the children.

Some nannies may be upset about this. Me? I love it. I love flexibility, and unexpected time off (or even expected time off) as long as I know I have a pretty steady job to return to. During my interview with the family, they were frustrated a bit at finding a fit for their family. They offered good pay, but didn't guarantee hours - for now. Once Dad-boss is out of school, then he will go back to the daily corporate world he was once part of.

I, personally, wasn't looking for 40+ hours. I was willing to work 40 hours for the right family, but the most important thing to me was some sort of flexibility. I prefer to be available for my own children when needed. They are in school full time, and also spend 50% of their time with their father. So I had time during the week for a job that was right for what I needed.

I have a degree that fits in the corporate world myself. Ha! So why am I in this field? There are a number of reasons. With my own children, it is very important for me to be available for them. With a corporate job with corporate hours, it would take away from what I want for my own children. So, over the years, I have sacrificed in order to do that. My husband is corporate and makes a decent income, so I budgeted for a lifestyle that would allow for that one income for our family so I could do what I feel in my heart is best - and that is raise my children myself.

My youngest is now almost 8. I also have a disable child that has required that I be available moreso than I would need for a typical child, being how he had to be run to therapy appointments along with a variety of other needs. But since my youngest is now a bit older, I have found that I am not needed as a mommy full time as I had when she was younger. My days are lacking of 'taking care' of someone. Throw in the fact tyhat their father, from whom I am divorced, is now taking them 50% of the time, it meant that I had full days and nights without caring for someone hands on.

And, with my extremely strong maternal instinct, it started making me slightly depressed. I am not ready to go corporate yet. I still feel my children need me just a tad longer before I do that.

So when i interviewed for this family, and they told me their needs, it was a perfect match! Not all interviews (well, very few, really) do I experience an immediate connection to the family, but with them I did. I went away, hoping that they would 'pick me', even though I charged a few dollars more an hour than they initially wanted to pay- what they were paying their previous care provider.

At the interview, I was told they only needed '12 hours' a week, with 'potential for more hours'. I applied because I liked the sound of that. Some may think that is crazy; what I heard was 'flexibility'!! I was willing to work over 30 hours, but didn't really want to. My preference was 15-25 hours. So, this was perfect! And I clicked with them too, which is so much more important to me than the hours or money made (altho they have their worth).

A few days later I was told that they felt I matched their needs almost perfectly, and would I like the job? I jumped and took it.

It was a great decision. I love the family. They are so easy to work with. The kids are great. It has been awhile since I liked a job this much!

Before long, the 12 hours became more. All with discussion, It was not something they sprung on me and expected me to just accept. They started paying me a salary that equaled a huge hourly amount IF I only worked 12 hours (rivaling corporate pay), but if I work 40 hours, it equals out to average nanny rates. I was astounded that they loved me that much! Dadboss told me they wanted to make sure I stayed for the long term and were determined to make certain I was happy.

I can not stress how much this has made me appreciative in return, and made me desire to exceed their expectations of me. There is much I do that is not officially my duty.

I also appreciate that my parent-boss' juggle their jobs and kids so well. If they are off, then I am off (paid). They desire to be with their kids, and spend time with them. They deliberately arrange their schedule to do so by working staggered schedules over one another, but pay me well to be there on the times they absolutely must BOTH be away full time. That means Momboss works full time during the day, and Dadboss goes to schol a few days a week during the day. This means, during the day, I am not always needed every day because when Dadboss is not in school, he takes care of his children. Dadboss works his job at night, a late 2nd shift, and Momboss is home taking care of kids. I love their family values. And they treat me as a partner in raising the kids, and not as some servant like I have read from so many other nannies. It makes me sad to read such stories about horrid employers. I would never, no matter how much I needed the money, work in a hostile environment. I would, and have, refused to work in such jobs even tho I have needed the money badly. I'd rather be broke than to put up with daily hostility and conflict.

Where am I going with this? I dunno. Just wanted to sit and write, and write I did!

A Feel Good Moment

We all get insecure. I am the kind of person who is always second-guessing what others truly think about what I am doing or how I am doing it, especially in relation to my job.

Don't get me wrong. I do a damn good job. I take the initiative and do many things that aren't even asked of me to help out my employers. I do this because I care about the family and I care about the children. I get as much joy creating experiences and memories for the kids I nanny as I do with my own children. I do the extra stuff every now and then because I like to think that I have, in some small way, made the life of someone else a little less hectic. 

But people are funny. Sometimes, others do not see things the way we see them. And we can think we are doing something over and beyond, and they may see it as not good enough. We can think we're doing a good job, and they can think we're doing a mediocre job. Or, they can believe we are doing a good job but not really agree with how we do our job.

My employers and I have a pretty good relationship. They back up my authority with the children, and have even taken a method I use and replaced their own with it. My job description does not include doing laundry, or cooking meals (except the children's meals) or cleaning. But - occasionally I will do these things as an act of service for the family that I care about. They're always appreciative. And always quick to re-assert that I 'don't have to do that.'

Of course, then I go into interpretation mode. Is that their way of saying they would rather me not cook dinner so Mom-Boss doesn't have to do it when she walks in the door from working all day? Do they appreciate the act yet not like my cooking? Did they have other plans for dinner and I just ruined it?

Ha! See? I do that. Rationally, I know this is not the case. Mom-Boss has texted me begging for a recipe I've used because it was so delicious. She has taken soup and shared it with her mother, and bragged that I folded laundry when she was exhausted from being with an ill family member at the hospital in between working and sleeping. She has apologized profusely for even asking me to work outside of my normal schedule.

And Dad-Boss - he's the one I see on most mornings. He is usually cheerful and asks about my weekends, my holidays, my morning so far. There have been a few mornings where he has been short. Again, I know sometimes he is just hurried. But my mind starts to wonder -- what are they *really* thinking about how I do my job?

Today, Dad-Boss calls me. They had called him off work because things were slow. He was going to be home an hour earlier, he said, and was that okay with me?

I laughed. "Of course!" I said. "It's YOUR house!"

"Well," he explained. "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with that. I don't want you to feel like I am messing up your schedule."

"No, no," I said, actually kinda glad to be able to leave early. "I'm flexible. It's fine."

So, he goes on to tell me his schedule during Christmas break. He is in school full time as well as working full time. He tells me when his last final exam is, then he has like 3 weeks off.

I waved it off, "Okay." I said. I was the one who asked him for his school schedule after all, fully expecting he would be off and they may not need me.

He went on, "well," he said. "We could find something to do, I'm sure. I - you know - I don't want you to feel like you're being slighted....."

"Whatever you need," I said to him. "Like I said before, this income is extra money for me " (my husband works and that is what supports our family) "and if you're home, and don't need me, it's okay. Really. And if you have something you guys want to do, like go shopping, that's fine. Let me know."

That's when he went on to say that they really appreciated me, and wanted to make sure that I was happy. He said he had talked to his wife, and even gotten on her a few times because he felt she had not given me enough advanced notice for some things, and that he stressed to her the importance of making sure I was happy in the job.

"The boys," he said. "They love you to death. And you are so good with them, and to them. We just want to make certain you are okay with things, that you're happy. It's hard to find someone you trust, and once you do, it's good to keep them. And I just - I don't want to have to go through trying to find someone else again....."

I assured him that I was, indeed, happy in my job. And I am. I love the job. And i am quite happy to find that they are happy with me too.

It feels good to be told. So parents, if you appreciate what a great job your nanny does with your children, tell her! It's not always evident, even if you may think it is.

Thanksgiving Hats

With the holidays approaching, I have scoured the web for fun (and easy) activities to do with the 2 preschoolers that I nanny.

I found this fun craft. And they can wear their hats for Thanksgiving dinner!! When the boys did it, they were so excited! Granted, it was quite a bit of cutting for me. I did have to prepare some of the materials and they basically glued it together. However, they "feel" like they made the hats, so they did! Plus, it kept their little hands out of mischief for that time, too!

You can find the instructions (as well as many other fun ideas here.)

What an invaluable site! I love the internet!!! Whatever did we do without it??? (ah yes --- we had to scour books instead!!)

What kinds of crafts have you done for Thanksgiving? The hand turkeys are a given (we did those at the library).

I love ideas!