It's tough out there.
Hubby and I were talking about the competition in the nanny field vs years ago, before the internet. Sure, you could go through an agency or newspaper ad, but you couldn't just daily browse ads with ease and 'shop around', so to speak, as you can easily do today. I would imagine for parents that it is exceedingly frightening to know the nanny you love could up and leave at any moment because she found something that pays better, is closer, or has a better schedule/duties for the money. (on the same note, maybe many don't really care.)
Not all nannies are looking for 'something better', so to speak. Sometimes, jobs will fall in their laps because a parent looking will see a profile.
The parents, of course, have a plethora of nannies to choose from. But they have an extra burden, one that nannies carry as well but not to the degree, and with the same implications, as parents do. It's the finding someone with whom your children will be safe. Someone who will not neglect your children, or treat them badly.
This is the problem, I think, with simply seeing your nanny job as a means to an end, or as strictly a business relationship. (or, from the parents' end, simply seeing your nanny as a common house servant). Dadboss and I had this discussion just last week. I was telling him that I have seen some nannies who seem to merely view their position as a 'job'. Oh, they may do their 'job' well. But it's just that - a job. And the relationship with the family, or at least the parents, is pretty impersonal and businesslike. I believe that, of course, there is a business aspect to the relationship that is just that. However, one must find a balance between the business and the personal. For what I am doing as a nanny, I believe, is very personal. I am caring for someone's child, basically replacing the parent-position when they are not home. I am in their house, taking care of it on a daily basis, cooking their meals. There is a vast level of personalness there. It goes beyond just doing my job, and doing it well.
Maybe some parents want that, the businesslike relationship with no personal interest in their nanny as an individual, or as an important influence on the children and therefore the family itself. Seen only for the job she does and nothing more. Maybe some nannies are comfortable with that. I am not one in either category who would want that, as an family-service employee or as one who might hire a care giver for my own children. As a parent, I want whoever is caring for my children to actually care, as well as be skilled. And caring for the children that one nannies involves caring for the family from which the children come.
I read sometime ago someone say that nannies who think that families actually care about them are fooling themselves. They will cut you if needed, and won't think twice.
This is true in most cases. I don't fully agree that all families would not think twice, but bottom line is, people must make decisions in their life and sometimes those decisions are tough to make when times require it. This does not necessarily mean that the families do not care at all.
I mean, I love the kids I care for, and I adore the family. I go over and beyond for them in many ways, and they reciprocate that as well. I do things like that because I want to, because I do care how it impacts them. They do things for me over and beyond for the same reason, because they greatly appreciate me.
But if I ever had a choice to make involving the well being of my own children and family, then I would have to choose my family's well being. If there was a schedule change with my husband, or we had to move.......I would have no choice. It would be very hard, and I would be very concerned about the impact on my bosses and charges, and I would do all I could to help make the transition as easy as I could until they found a replacement -- but only as I was able.
Why are parents expected to do any less?
Yes, some do not care much. Just as there are some nannies who really do not care all that much either.
