In my last entry, I told the story of a couple from whom I had accepted a job for an infant nanny. It was an uncomfortable situation, and didn't work out from the get go. I handled it as professionally as I could, and cut it off as soon as I knew it was not going to work (which was only 2 days in) so as to not waste any more time that the parents would need to find another nanny before the Mom went back to work.
This past week, as I said, I had come across the mother on the care site where I had initially found the job. She was advertising for another nanny. It's only been 2 months since I had left, and 1 month since she has returned to work from maternity leave. I had maintained that she would NOT be able to find a quality nanny who would stay long term for what she wanted to pay, while also changing terms as she saw fit. I was curious as to what happened to the nanny they found after me. (yes, yes, I wanted to see if I was , indeed, CORRECT) So I sent her a friendly message, giving her the link to a local nanny community site where she could look at some local nanny profiles for free, and even place her ad, for free.
Here is her reply to me :
Hello [Nanny Me],
Good to hear from you and I am over being upset now :)
Initially I did think that you were just not liking us or [the baby], which is why you did not want to continue, but I then decided to give you the benefit of the doubt... And thank you for sending this site - I had to re-advertise for a nanny because the one we found after you left, cheated on us and actually left one day without saying anything while [the baby] was sleeping ! And she also stole from us ! Very upsetting and shocking because we treated her very well and trusted her..anyhow, we found someone else but it has been tough... Hope you and your family are doing good. And Merry Xmas / Happy Holidays to you all !
I am curious as to how this new nanny will work out.
Why do I care? I don't, really. But I do have a curiosity on how things work out, and I also don't like to truly burn bridges.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Former Employer - Kinda
Just something interesting I ran into this week.......
The job I have now initially started out only 12 hours, and only temporary. However, ideally I wanted steady hours and more money.
I had accepted a job from an Indian couple. These people pursued me. I had an ad on a care site, specifically stating my hours. The mother contacted me and said she really liked my profile and would like to talk to me about a job. At first, I blew her off. Once I saw on her own profile what her needs were, they did not fit what my availability was, and I said as much to her.
She turned around and said that she realized that, but they liked my profile so much that they were willing to be flexible on the start times. They wanted someone at 8 a.m. and I could not start until 9 a.m. They wanted someone until 5:30 and my limit was 5:00 pm.
I turned in my head that maybe this could work. I really did not want 40 hours, but was also not having much luck finding jobs with the limited availability I had. I liked the idea of a lot of flexibility (which is what I have now). However, a job is a job so, against my better judgment, I went and met these parents.
They interviewed me, and the interview was not bad, per se. But it was not comfortable. They told me they'd call by the end of the week with a decision, as they were interviewing other candidates.
At the end of the week, the mother called me. She no longer sounded composed and sure of herself. She was nervous, talked in a rush, as she offered me the job. She seemed apprehensive that I would not accept. She told me what she and her husband would pay, which was $50 less a week than my lowest absolute-must-have amount. She quickly agreed to my lowest-absolute-must-have amount when I said her offer would not do. I still had qualms, but hey - it was a job. Plus, I wanted to give the family a chance despite my gut instinct. My gut instinct almost always proves to be correct, yet I still doubt it when I can not logically put my finger on why I am having that feeling.
Mom was on maternity leave still but was to return to her corporate job in a month. She asked me to start the following week, just twice a week at first, so she could show me her routine, and what needed to be done around the house, and also to help her wean the baby from the breast. She wanted to see my interaction and care hands on; I understand. This was her first child, and personally, this is a good move on a parent's part.
So, the first day came. I was not nervous, not really. Part of me wondered what she would be looking for. I did not yet know this baby, or her moods, so did not want that lack of knowledge to come across as not knowing what I was doing. When a parent is present, especially when everything is new, it is hard to know when I need to step in and take charge as if I was alone, or step back and allow Mom to do her thing. Grandmother was also in from India, so there were two doting maternal figures there with me.
The baby was adorable. The first thing I noticed was lack of a rocking chair. The couch was very modern and deep. When I say deep, I mean that the back of the couch was much further back than normal. This meant no support when I did actually sit with the baby, as my 4'11 frame would not allow me to comfortable scoot all the way back. Even the mom had extra pillows for herself to put behind her back when she sat with the baby.
This meant that the majority of the time I was holding the baby, including for feeding, I was standing or sitting straight up on the couch with no support. This started to hurt my back. I started to think, "I will be here from 9-5 all day every day with no supportive furniture holding this child." I talked to the mother about a rocking chair and she said they planned to get one.
Baby was not having the bottle thing. She wanted Mommy's boobies only. But that was okay; those things take time and I knew eventually she would catch on.
I talked immediately to the Mother about holidays. They were Hindu, and did not celebrate Christmas. That was okay. However, I told her straight away that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was not available to work as those were huge holidays for my family. She balked at the Christmas Eve "I have to work." she said. I re-iterated that most holidays were not a problem for me, but those were two days that were huge in our family and we traveled and I would not be able to work those days. She again stated she had to work. When I said nothing, she said, 'Well, it's usually slow and most people take off, so I could probably get off early." Again I said, "We will be traveling that day." and left it at that.
So later, before I leave on my first day, the mom started to talk to me about end times. She would probably need me until '6 or so' - her exact words.
RED flags went up. Changing the terms already? What did this mean in the future? I had already agreed to some 5:30 days, only because they were being flexible with my start times. But really, THEY pursued ME knowing my availability. I did not want to work past 5 pm. The reasons are my own children. Working past 5 pm on some days was okay, since they stay with their father half the time. However, for me to work past 5 pm on the days I had my own children overnight would make it senseless for me to take pick them up and take them home. The reason I was in child care was to find a tailored position so that I did NOT have to sacrifice what my children needed. And now these people, who pursued me and promised me flexibility on my needs, were now backing up?
No, this would not do. But, being me, I said nothing at the moment other than, "I am not sure that will work." I do not act in haste. I wanted to go home, think over the implications of staying or quitting, and sleep on it to make sure I was acting rationally to this unexpected news. She talked on, about how even 6 pm was too early to leave for her company, but she would just 'tell them' she had to do it. This told me that it was possible they would try to stretch the time out in the future.
It was clear what I needed to do.
The next day, I told her in a very businesslike manner that the position was not going to work out for me. I apologized, and told her that I was to blame, that I should not have taken the job in the first place. I told her I was voiding out the check she gave me for the inconvenience. I explained that I did not desire to work 45+ hours a week, that it would interfere with what I needed for my own family. I told her the reason I was in this field was for the flexibility that some parents' needs can over so that I could do what I needed for my own family. I told her I had a corporate degree, and if I wanted corporate hours I would work a corporate job for corporate pay. I told her that there were plenty of nannies looking for full time work, and that I wished her and her husband luck in finding someone who better matched their needs. (I didn't tell her that, for what she was paying, that she was unlikely to find a quality person who would stick around).
Her response only solidified my decision and gave me insight to what conflicts would have been like with these parents. She basically told me she did not believe my reasons for leaving the job, that she believed there was another reason. (I guess she assumed I accepted another job, which was not true). She said we could have discussed hours and pay if those were a problem (we already had and she made clear what they were and were not willing to do for pay). She said she and her husband had been very excited to find me, and thought I had done a great job with the baby while I was there, and were now very disappointed. Etc etc.....
I sent back the check, altho she had told me to keep it anyway, with another note saying I wished them well in finding someone who matched their needs, and that I did not understand why she thought I was lying to her about my reasons for leaving (why would I??).
I never heard from her again, but have wondered whether or not they found someone who would accept the hours and pay they had laid out.
I was on the care site looking for New Year's Eve jobs when I saw this mother had posted an ad. Two months after I had quit, and one month after she had gone back to work from maternity leave.
Makes me wonder.......
The job I have now initially started out only 12 hours, and only temporary. However, ideally I wanted steady hours and more money.
I had accepted a job from an Indian couple. These people pursued me. I had an ad on a care site, specifically stating my hours. The mother contacted me and said she really liked my profile and would like to talk to me about a job. At first, I blew her off. Once I saw on her own profile what her needs were, they did not fit what my availability was, and I said as much to her.
She turned around and said that she realized that, but they liked my profile so much that they were willing to be flexible on the start times. They wanted someone at 8 a.m. and I could not start until 9 a.m. They wanted someone until 5:30 and my limit was 5:00 pm.
I turned in my head that maybe this could work. I really did not want 40 hours, but was also not having much luck finding jobs with the limited availability I had. I liked the idea of a lot of flexibility (which is what I have now). However, a job is a job so, against my better judgment, I went and met these parents.
They interviewed me, and the interview was not bad, per se. But it was not comfortable. They told me they'd call by the end of the week with a decision, as they were interviewing other candidates.
At the end of the week, the mother called me. She no longer sounded composed and sure of herself. She was nervous, talked in a rush, as she offered me the job. She seemed apprehensive that I would not accept. She told me what she and her husband would pay, which was $50 less a week than my lowest absolute-must-have amount. She quickly agreed to my lowest-absolute-must-have amount when I said her offer would not do. I still had qualms, but hey - it was a job. Plus, I wanted to give the family a chance despite my gut instinct. My gut instinct almost always proves to be correct, yet I still doubt it when I can not logically put my finger on why I am having that feeling.
Mom was on maternity leave still but was to return to her corporate job in a month. She asked me to start the following week, just twice a week at first, so she could show me her routine, and what needed to be done around the house, and also to help her wean the baby from the breast. She wanted to see my interaction and care hands on; I understand. This was her first child, and personally, this is a good move on a parent's part.
So, the first day came. I was not nervous, not really. Part of me wondered what she would be looking for. I did not yet know this baby, or her moods, so did not want that lack of knowledge to come across as not knowing what I was doing. When a parent is present, especially when everything is new, it is hard to know when I need to step in and take charge as if I was alone, or step back and allow Mom to do her thing. Grandmother was also in from India, so there were two doting maternal figures there with me.
The baby was adorable. The first thing I noticed was lack of a rocking chair. The couch was very modern and deep. When I say deep, I mean that the back of the couch was much further back than normal. This meant no support when I did actually sit with the baby, as my 4'11 frame would not allow me to comfortable scoot all the way back. Even the mom had extra pillows for herself to put behind her back when she sat with the baby.
This meant that the majority of the time I was holding the baby, including for feeding, I was standing or sitting straight up on the couch with no support. This started to hurt my back. I started to think, "I will be here from 9-5 all day every day with no supportive furniture holding this child." I talked to the mother about a rocking chair and she said they planned to get one.
Baby was not having the bottle thing. She wanted Mommy's boobies only. But that was okay; those things take time and I knew eventually she would catch on.
I talked immediately to the Mother about holidays. They were Hindu, and did not celebrate Christmas. That was okay. However, I told her straight away that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was not available to work as those were huge holidays for my family. She balked at the Christmas Eve "I have to work." she said. I re-iterated that most holidays were not a problem for me, but those were two days that were huge in our family and we traveled and I would not be able to work those days. She again stated she had to work. When I said nothing, she said, 'Well, it's usually slow and most people take off, so I could probably get off early." Again I said, "We will be traveling that day." and left it at that.
So later, before I leave on my first day, the mom started to talk to me about end times. She would probably need me until '6 or so' - her exact words.
RED flags went up. Changing the terms already? What did this mean in the future? I had already agreed to some 5:30 days, only because they were being flexible with my start times. But really, THEY pursued ME knowing my availability. I did not want to work past 5 pm. The reasons are my own children. Working past 5 pm on some days was okay, since they stay with their father half the time. However, for me to work past 5 pm on the days I had my own children overnight would make it senseless for me to take pick them up and take them home. The reason I was in child care was to find a tailored position so that I did NOT have to sacrifice what my children needed. And now these people, who pursued me and promised me flexibility on my needs, were now backing up?
No, this would not do. But, being me, I said nothing at the moment other than, "I am not sure that will work." I do not act in haste. I wanted to go home, think over the implications of staying or quitting, and sleep on it to make sure I was acting rationally to this unexpected news. She talked on, about how even 6 pm was too early to leave for her company, but she would just 'tell them' she had to do it. This told me that it was possible they would try to stretch the time out in the future.
It was clear what I needed to do.
The next day, I told her in a very businesslike manner that the position was not going to work out for me. I apologized, and told her that I was to blame, that I should not have taken the job in the first place. I told her I was voiding out the check she gave me for the inconvenience. I explained that I did not desire to work 45+ hours a week, that it would interfere with what I needed for my own family. I told her the reason I was in this field was for the flexibility that some parents' needs can over so that I could do what I needed for my own family. I told her I had a corporate degree, and if I wanted corporate hours I would work a corporate job for corporate pay. I told her that there were plenty of nannies looking for full time work, and that I wished her and her husband luck in finding someone who better matched their needs. (I didn't tell her that, for what she was paying, that she was unlikely to find a quality person who would stick around).
Her response only solidified my decision and gave me insight to what conflicts would have been like with these parents. She basically told me she did not believe my reasons for leaving the job, that she believed there was another reason. (I guess she assumed I accepted another job, which was not true). She said we could have discussed hours and pay if those were a problem (we already had and she made clear what they were and were not willing to do for pay). She said she and her husband had been very excited to find me, and thought I had done a great job with the baby while I was there, and were now very disappointed. Etc etc.....
I sent back the check, altho she had told me to keep it anyway, with another note saying I wished them well in finding someone who matched their needs, and that I did not understand why she thought I was lying to her about my reasons for leaving (why would I??).
I never heard from her again, but have wondered whether or not they found someone who would accept the hours and pay they had laid out.
I was on the care site looking for New Year's Eve jobs when I saw this mother had posted an ad. Two months after I had quit, and one month after she had gone back to work from maternity leave.
Makes me wonder.......
SNOW!!
So, snowmen are hard to make. Believe me, we tried. I spent a good portion of 30 minutes bundling the kids up in snow bibs, coats, hats, water proof gloves only for the 3 yr old to holler he needed to potty as soon as we stepped out the door. (yeah - I should have known better and sent them potty BEFORE bundling them. I got what I deserved, but I was SO excited!!)
So, after we spend another 20 minutes on that task, and getting re-bundled, we trekked back outside. We attempted a regular sized snowman, but it wasn't happening. So, we settled on a much smaller one. The kids foraged for twigs, which the dog really helped find (she eats them) and we used a baby carrot cut in half as the nose. They were excited, so that was the key.
They slept good for nap that afternoon.
The next day we did snow angels! What fun!
Afterward, we enjoyed hot cocoa and watched Frosty the Snowman on DVD.
THEN, this week, we went sledding! OMG, I haven't had this much fun for a long while. My own kids were out of school, and with Momboss' permission, we met my kids and their stepmother (who was keeping them for the snow day) at a small hill next to a school.
Everyone was bundled up and everyone had an absolute blast! I don't think my charges had ever gone sledding before, and they were in heaven! The hill was rather small, but to a 3 and 4 yr old, I am sure it was huge! We got lots of pictures and video, and my parent-bosses were thrilled to see it! The kids got excited all over again re-living their sledding day, and explained to their parents each and every moment of footage watched.
This week, we plan to finish the Christmas crafts that I have had planned that we haven't done yet! We must take advantage of the snow, tho, as it comes! A white Christmas is expected too, which will make things that much more exciting for the kids. We don't get a white Christmas very often in this area!
Merry Christmas!!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I Love My Job!!
Things can be so hectic this time of year! Putting together crafts and fun trips and baking ideas for the kids to do, plus for me to do to help make the season special in my nanny 'family's house!
I will admit that what makes all the work worth it is knowing that my employers greatly appreciate and recognize the work and time put in.
Essentially, I am 'off' from this week through the beginning of January. There are a few days that the parent-boss' will need me as they run their own errands, specifically doing some shopping themselves and going to adult-only events. Momboss is still working, but she is off by evening. Dadboss works evenings, and goes to school during the day. He is off school, so they are basically playing tag in regards to who cares for the children.
Some nannies may be upset about this. Me? I love it. I love flexibility, and unexpected time off (or even expected time off) as long as I know I have a pretty steady job to return to. During my interview with the family, they were frustrated a bit at finding a fit for their family. They offered good pay, but didn't guarantee hours - for now. Once Dad-boss is out of school, then he will go back to the daily corporate world he was once part of.
I, personally, wasn't looking for 40+ hours. I was willing to work 40 hours for the right family, but the most important thing to me was some sort of flexibility. I prefer to be available for my own children when needed. They are in school full time, and also spend 50% of their time with their father. So I had time during the week for a job that was right for what I needed.
I have a degree that fits in the corporate world myself. Ha! So why am I in this field? There are a number of reasons. With my own children, it is very important for me to be available for them. With a corporate job with corporate hours, it would take away from what I want for my own children. So, over the years, I have sacrificed in order to do that. My husband is corporate and makes a decent income, so I budgeted for a lifestyle that would allow for that one income for our family so I could do what I feel in my heart is best - and that is raise my children myself.
My youngest is now almost 8. I also have a disable child that has required that I be available moreso than I would need for a typical child, being how he had to be run to therapy appointments along with a variety of other needs. But since my youngest is now a bit older, I have found that I am not needed as a mommy full time as I had when she was younger. My days are lacking of 'taking care' of someone. Throw in the fact tyhat their father, from whom I am divorced, is now taking them 50% of the time, it meant that I had full days and nights without caring for someone hands on.
And, with my extremely strong maternal instinct, it started making me slightly depressed. I am not ready to go corporate yet. I still feel my children need me just a tad longer before I do that.
So when i interviewed for this family, and they told me their needs, it was a perfect match! Not all interviews (well, very few, really) do I experience an immediate connection to the family, but with them I did. I went away, hoping that they would 'pick me', even though I charged a few dollars more an hour than they initially wanted to pay- what they were paying their previous care provider.
At the interview, I was told they only needed '12 hours' a week, with 'potential for more hours'. I applied because I liked the sound of that. Some may think that is crazy; what I heard was 'flexibility'!! I was willing to work over 30 hours, but didn't really want to. My preference was 15-25 hours. So, this was perfect! And I clicked with them too, which is so much more important to me than the hours or money made (altho they have their worth).
A few days later I was told that they felt I matched their needs almost perfectly, and would I like the job? I jumped and took it.
It was a great decision. I love the family. They are so easy to work with. The kids are great. It has been awhile since I liked a job this much!
Before long, the 12 hours became more. All with discussion, It was not something they sprung on me and expected me to just accept. They started paying me a salary that equaled a huge hourly amount IF I only worked 12 hours (rivaling corporate pay), but if I work 40 hours, it equals out to average nanny rates. I was astounded that they loved me that much! Dadboss told me they wanted to make sure I stayed for the long term and were determined to make certain I was happy.
I can not stress how much this has made me appreciative in return, and made me desire to exceed their expectations of me. There is much I do that is not officially my duty.
I also appreciate that my parent-boss' juggle their jobs and kids so well. If they are off, then I am off (paid). They desire to be with their kids, and spend time with them. They deliberately arrange their schedule to do so by working staggered schedules over one another, but pay me well to be there on the times they absolutely must BOTH be away full time. That means Momboss works full time during the day, and Dadboss goes to schol a few days a week during the day. This means, during the day, I am not always needed every day because when Dadboss is not in school, he takes care of his children. Dadboss works his job at night, a late 2nd shift, and Momboss is home taking care of kids. I love their family values. And they treat me as a partner in raising the kids, and not as some servant like I have read from so many other nannies. It makes me sad to read such stories about horrid employers. I would never, no matter how much I needed the money, work in a hostile environment. I would, and have, refused to work in such jobs even tho I have needed the money badly. I'd rather be broke than to put up with daily hostility and conflict.
Where am I going with this? I dunno. Just wanted to sit and write, and write I did!
I will admit that what makes all the work worth it is knowing that my employers greatly appreciate and recognize the work and time put in.
Essentially, I am 'off' from this week through the beginning of January. There are a few days that the parent-boss' will need me as they run their own errands, specifically doing some shopping themselves and going to adult-only events. Momboss is still working, but she is off by evening. Dadboss works evenings, and goes to school during the day. He is off school, so they are basically playing tag in regards to who cares for the children.
Some nannies may be upset about this. Me? I love it. I love flexibility, and unexpected time off (or even expected time off) as long as I know I have a pretty steady job to return to. During my interview with the family, they were frustrated a bit at finding a fit for their family. They offered good pay, but didn't guarantee hours - for now. Once Dad-boss is out of school, then he will go back to the daily corporate world he was once part of.
I, personally, wasn't looking for 40+ hours. I was willing to work 40 hours for the right family, but the most important thing to me was some sort of flexibility. I prefer to be available for my own children when needed. They are in school full time, and also spend 50% of their time with their father. So I had time during the week for a job that was right for what I needed.
I have a degree that fits in the corporate world myself. Ha! So why am I in this field? There are a number of reasons. With my own children, it is very important for me to be available for them. With a corporate job with corporate hours, it would take away from what I want for my own children. So, over the years, I have sacrificed in order to do that. My husband is corporate and makes a decent income, so I budgeted for a lifestyle that would allow for that one income for our family so I could do what I feel in my heart is best - and that is raise my children myself.
My youngest is now almost 8. I also have a disable child that has required that I be available moreso than I would need for a typical child, being how he had to be run to therapy appointments along with a variety of other needs. But since my youngest is now a bit older, I have found that I am not needed as a mommy full time as I had when she was younger. My days are lacking of 'taking care' of someone. Throw in the fact tyhat their father, from whom I am divorced, is now taking them 50% of the time, it meant that I had full days and nights without caring for someone hands on.
And, with my extremely strong maternal instinct, it started making me slightly depressed. I am not ready to go corporate yet. I still feel my children need me just a tad longer before I do that.
So when i interviewed for this family, and they told me their needs, it was a perfect match! Not all interviews (well, very few, really) do I experience an immediate connection to the family, but with them I did. I went away, hoping that they would 'pick me', even though I charged a few dollars more an hour than they initially wanted to pay- what they were paying their previous care provider.
At the interview, I was told they only needed '12 hours' a week, with 'potential for more hours'. I applied because I liked the sound of that. Some may think that is crazy; what I heard was 'flexibility'!! I was willing to work over 30 hours, but didn't really want to. My preference was 15-25 hours. So, this was perfect! And I clicked with them too, which is so much more important to me than the hours or money made (altho they have their worth).
A few days later I was told that they felt I matched their needs almost perfectly, and would I like the job? I jumped and took it.
It was a great decision. I love the family. They are so easy to work with. The kids are great. It has been awhile since I liked a job this much!
Before long, the 12 hours became more. All with discussion, It was not something they sprung on me and expected me to just accept. They started paying me a salary that equaled a huge hourly amount IF I only worked 12 hours (rivaling corporate pay), but if I work 40 hours, it equals out to average nanny rates. I was astounded that they loved me that much! Dadboss told me they wanted to make sure I stayed for the long term and were determined to make certain I was happy.
I can not stress how much this has made me appreciative in return, and made me desire to exceed their expectations of me. There is much I do that is not officially my duty.
I also appreciate that my parent-boss' juggle their jobs and kids so well. If they are off, then I am off (paid). They desire to be with their kids, and spend time with them. They deliberately arrange their schedule to do so by working staggered schedules over one another, but pay me well to be there on the times they absolutely must BOTH be away full time. That means Momboss works full time during the day, and Dadboss goes to schol a few days a week during the day. This means, during the day, I am not always needed every day because when Dadboss is not in school, he takes care of his children. Dadboss works his job at night, a late 2nd shift, and Momboss is home taking care of kids. I love their family values. And they treat me as a partner in raising the kids, and not as some servant like I have read from so many other nannies. It makes me sad to read such stories about horrid employers. I would never, no matter how much I needed the money, work in a hostile environment. I would, and have, refused to work in such jobs even tho I have needed the money badly. I'd rather be broke than to put up with daily hostility and conflict.
Where am I going with this? I dunno. Just wanted to sit and write, and write I did!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)