Just something interesting I ran into this week.......
The job I have now initially started out only 12 hours, and only temporary. However, ideally I wanted steady hours and more money.
I had accepted a job from an Indian couple. These people pursued me. I had an ad on a care site, specifically stating my hours. The mother contacted me and said she really liked my profile and would like to talk to me about a job. At first, I blew her off. Once I saw on her own profile what her needs were, they did not fit what my availability was, and I said as much to her.
She turned around and said that she realized that, but they liked my profile so much that they were willing to be flexible on the start times. They wanted someone at 8 a.m. and I could not start until 9 a.m. They wanted someone until 5:30 and my limit was 5:00 pm.
I turned in my head that maybe this could work. I really did not want 40 hours, but was also not having much luck finding jobs with the limited availability I had. I liked the idea of a lot of flexibility (which is what I have now). However, a job is a job so, against my better judgment, I went and met these parents.
They interviewed me, and the interview was not bad, per se. But it was not comfortable. They told me they'd call by the end of the week with a decision, as they were interviewing other candidates.
At the end of the week, the mother called me. She no longer sounded composed and sure of herself. She was nervous, talked in a rush, as she offered me the job. She seemed apprehensive that I would not accept. She told me what she and her husband would pay, which was $50 less a week than my lowest absolute-must-have amount. She quickly agreed to my lowest-absolute-must-have amount when I said her offer would not do. I still had qualms, but hey - it was a job. Plus, I wanted to give the family a chance despite my gut instinct. My gut instinct almost always proves to be correct, yet I still doubt it when I can not logically put my finger on why I am having that feeling.
Mom was on maternity leave still but was to return to her corporate job in a month. She asked me to start the following week, just twice a week at first, so she could show me her routine, and what needed to be done around the house, and also to help her wean the baby from the breast. She wanted to see my interaction and care hands on; I understand. This was her first child, and personally, this is a good move on a parent's part.
So, the first day came. I was not nervous, not really. Part of me wondered what she would be looking for. I did not yet know this baby, or her moods, so did not want that lack of knowledge to come across as not knowing what I was doing. When a parent is present, especially when everything is new, it is hard to know when I need to step in and take charge as if I was alone, or step back and allow Mom to do her thing. Grandmother was also in from India, so there were two doting maternal figures there with me.
The baby was adorable. The first thing I noticed was lack of a rocking chair. The couch was very modern and deep. When I say deep, I mean that the back of the couch was much further back than normal. This meant no support when I did actually sit with the baby, as my 4'11 frame would not allow me to comfortable scoot all the way back. Even the mom had extra pillows for herself to put behind her back when she sat with the baby.
This meant that the majority of the time I was holding the baby, including for feeding, I was standing or sitting straight up on the couch with no support. This started to hurt my back. I started to think, "I will be here from 9-5 all day every day with no supportive furniture holding this child." I talked to the mother about a rocking chair and she said they planned to get one.
Baby was not having the bottle thing. She wanted Mommy's boobies only. But that was okay; those things take time and I knew eventually she would catch on.
I talked immediately to the Mother about holidays. They were Hindu, and did not celebrate Christmas. That was okay. However, I told her straight away that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was not available to work as those were huge holidays for my family. She balked at the Christmas Eve "I have to work." she said. I re-iterated that most holidays were not a problem for me, but those were two days that were huge in our family and we traveled and I would not be able to work those days. She again stated she had to work. When I said nothing, she said, 'Well, it's usually slow and most people take off, so I could probably get off early." Again I said, "We will be traveling that day." and left it at that.
So later, before I leave on my first day, the mom started to talk to me about end times. She would probably need me until '6 or so' - her exact words.
RED flags went up. Changing the terms already? What did this mean in the future? I had already agreed to some 5:30 days, only because they were being flexible with my start times. But really, THEY pursued ME knowing my availability. I did not want to work past 5 pm. The reasons are my own children. Working past 5 pm on some days was okay, since they stay with their father half the time. However, for me to work past 5 pm on the days I had my own children overnight would make it senseless for me to take pick them up and take them home. The reason I was in child care was to find a tailored position so that I did NOT have to sacrifice what my children needed. And now these people, who pursued me and promised me flexibility on my needs, were now backing up?
No, this would not do. But, being me, I said nothing at the moment other than, "I am not sure that will work." I do not act in haste. I wanted to go home, think over the implications of staying or quitting, and sleep on it to make sure I was acting rationally to this unexpected news. She talked on, about how even 6 pm was too early to leave for her company, but she would just 'tell them' she had to do it. This told me that it was possible they would try to stretch the time out in the future.
It was clear what I needed to do.
The next day, I told her in a very businesslike manner that the position was not going to work out for me. I apologized, and told her that I was to blame, that I should not have taken the job in the first place. I told her I was voiding out the check she gave me for the inconvenience. I explained that I did not desire to work 45+ hours a week, that it would interfere with what I needed for my own family. I told her the reason I was in this field was for the flexibility that some parents' needs can over so that I could do what I needed for my own family. I told her I had a corporate degree, and if I wanted corporate hours I would work a corporate job for corporate pay. I told her that there were plenty of nannies looking for full time work, and that I wished her and her husband luck in finding someone who better matched their needs. (I didn't tell her that, for what she was paying, that she was unlikely to find a quality person who would stick around).
Her response only solidified my decision and gave me insight to what conflicts would have been like with these parents. She basically told me she did not believe my reasons for leaving the job, that she believed there was another reason. (I guess she assumed I accepted another job, which was not true). She said we could have discussed hours and pay if those were a problem (we already had and she made clear what they were and were not willing to do for pay). She said she and her husband had been very excited to find me, and thought I had done a great job with the baby while I was there, and were now very disappointed. Etc etc.....
I sent back the check, altho she had told me to keep it anyway, with another note saying I wished them well in finding someone who matched their needs, and that I did not understand why she thought I was lying to her about my reasons for leaving (why would I??).
I never heard from her again, but have wondered whether or not they found someone who would accept the hours and pay they had laid out.
I was on the care site looking for New Year's Eve jobs when I saw this mother had posted an ad. Two months after I had quit, and one month after she had gone back to work from maternity leave.
Makes me wonder.......
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