In my last entry, I told the story of a couple from whom I had accepted a job for an infant nanny. It was an uncomfortable situation, and didn't work out from the get go. I handled it as professionally as I could, and cut it off as soon as I knew it was not going to work (which was only 2 days in) so as to not waste any more time that the parents would need to find another nanny before the Mom went back to work.
This past week, as I said, I had come across the mother on the care site where I had initially found the job. She was advertising for another nanny. It's only been 2 months since I had left, and 1 month since she has returned to work from maternity leave. I had maintained that she would NOT be able to find a quality nanny who would stay long term for what she wanted to pay, while also changing terms as she saw fit. I was curious as to what happened to the nanny they found after me. (yes, yes, I wanted to see if I was , indeed, CORRECT) So I sent her a friendly message, giving her the link to a local nanny community site where she could look at some local nanny profiles for free, and even place her ad, for free.
Here is her reply to me :
Hello [Nanny Me],
Good to hear from you and I am over being upset now :)
Initially I did think that you were just not liking us or [the baby], which is why you did not want to continue, but I then decided to give you the benefit of the doubt... And thank you for sending this site - I had to re-advertise for a nanny because the one we found after you left, cheated on us and actually left one day without saying anything while [the baby] was sleeping ! And she also stole from us ! Very upsetting and shocking because we treated her very well and trusted her..anyhow, we found someone else but it has been tough... Hope you and your family are doing good. And Merry Xmas / Happy Holidays to you all !
I am curious as to how this new nanny will work out.
Why do I care? I don't, really. But I do have a curiosity on how things work out, and I also don't like to truly burn bridges.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Former Employer - Kinda
Just something interesting I ran into this week.......
The job I have now initially started out only 12 hours, and only temporary. However, ideally I wanted steady hours and more money.
I had accepted a job from an Indian couple. These people pursued me. I had an ad on a care site, specifically stating my hours. The mother contacted me and said she really liked my profile and would like to talk to me about a job. At first, I blew her off. Once I saw on her own profile what her needs were, they did not fit what my availability was, and I said as much to her.
She turned around and said that she realized that, but they liked my profile so much that they were willing to be flexible on the start times. They wanted someone at 8 a.m. and I could not start until 9 a.m. They wanted someone until 5:30 and my limit was 5:00 pm.
I turned in my head that maybe this could work. I really did not want 40 hours, but was also not having much luck finding jobs with the limited availability I had. I liked the idea of a lot of flexibility (which is what I have now). However, a job is a job so, against my better judgment, I went and met these parents.
They interviewed me, and the interview was not bad, per se. But it was not comfortable. They told me they'd call by the end of the week with a decision, as they were interviewing other candidates.
At the end of the week, the mother called me. She no longer sounded composed and sure of herself. She was nervous, talked in a rush, as she offered me the job. She seemed apprehensive that I would not accept. She told me what she and her husband would pay, which was $50 less a week than my lowest absolute-must-have amount. She quickly agreed to my lowest-absolute-must-have amount when I said her offer would not do. I still had qualms, but hey - it was a job. Plus, I wanted to give the family a chance despite my gut instinct. My gut instinct almost always proves to be correct, yet I still doubt it when I can not logically put my finger on why I am having that feeling.
Mom was on maternity leave still but was to return to her corporate job in a month. She asked me to start the following week, just twice a week at first, so she could show me her routine, and what needed to be done around the house, and also to help her wean the baby from the breast. She wanted to see my interaction and care hands on; I understand. This was her first child, and personally, this is a good move on a parent's part.
So, the first day came. I was not nervous, not really. Part of me wondered what she would be looking for. I did not yet know this baby, or her moods, so did not want that lack of knowledge to come across as not knowing what I was doing. When a parent is present, especially when everything is new, it is hard to know when I need to step in and take charge as if I was alone, or step back and allow Mom to do her thing. Grandmother was also in from India, so there were two doting maternal figures there with me.
The baby was adorable. The first thing I noticed was lack of a rocking chair. The couch was very modern and deep. When I say deep, I mean that the back of the couch was much further back than normal. This meant no support when I did actually sit with the baby, as my 4'11 frame would not allow me to comfortable scoot all the way back. Even the mom had extra pillows for herself to put behind her back when she sat with the baby.
This meant that the majority of the time I was holding the baby, including for feeding, I was standing or sitting straight up on the couch with no support. This started to hurt my back. I started to think, "I will be here from 9-5 all day every day with no supportive furniture holding this child." I talked to the mother about a rocking chair and she said they planned to get one.
Baby was not having the bottle thing. She wanted Mommy's boobies only. But that was okay; those things take time and I knew eventually she would catch on.
I talked immediately to the Mother about holidays. They were Hindu, and did not celebrate Christmas. That was okay. However, I told her straight away that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was not available to work as those were huge holidays for my family. She balked at the Christmas Eve "I have to work." she said. I re-iterated that most holidays were not a problem for me, but those were two days that were huge in our family and we traveled and I would not be able to work those days. She again stated she had to work. When I said nothing, she said, 'Well, it's usually slow and most people take off, so I could probably get off early." Again I said, "We will be traveling that day." and left it at that.
So later, before I leave on my first day, the mom started to talk to me about end times. She would probably need me until '6 or so' - her exact words.
RED flags went up. Changing the terms already? What did this mean in the future? I had already agreed to some 5:30 days, only because they were being flexible with my start times. But really, THEY pursued ME knowing my availability. I did not want to work past 5 pm. The reasons are my own children. Working past 5 pm on some days was okay, since they stay with their father half the time. However, for me to work past 5 pm on the days I had my own children overnight would make it senseless for me to take pick them up and take them home. The reason I was in child care was to find a tailored position so that I did NOT have to sacrifice what my children needed. And now these people, who pursued me and promised me flexibility on my needs, were now backing up?
No, this would not do. But, being me, I said nothing at the moment other than, "I am not sure that will work." I do not act in haste. I wanted to go home, think over the implications of staying or quitting, and sleep on it to make sure I was acting rationally to this unexpected news. She talked on, about how even 6 pm was too early to leave for her company, but she would just 'tell them' she had to do it. This told me that it was possible they would try to stretch the time out in the future.
It was clear what I needed to do.
The next day, I told her in a very businesslike manner that the position was not going to work out for me. I apologized, and told her that I was to blame, that I should not have taken the job in the first place. I told her I was voiding out the check she gave me for the inconvenience. I explained that I did not desire to work 45+ hours a week, that it would interfere with what I needed for my own family. I told her the reason I was in this field was for the flexibility that some parents' needs can over so that I could do what I needed for my own family. I told her I had a corporate degree, and if I wanted corporate hours I would work a corporate job for corporate pay. I told her that there were plenty of nannies looking for full time work, and that I wished her and her husband luck in finding someone who better matched their needs. (I didn't tell her that, for what she was paying, that she was unlikely to find a quality person who would stick around).
Her response only solidified my decision and gave me insight to what conflicts would have been like with these parents. She basically told me she did not believe my reasons for leaving the job, that she believed there was another reason. (I guess she assumed I accepted another job, which was not true). She said we could have discussed hours and pay if those were a problem (we already had and she made clear what they were and were not willing to do for pay). She said she and her husband had been very excited to find me, and thought I had done a great job with the baby while I was there, and were now very disappointed. Etc etc.....
I sent back the check, altho she had told me to keep it anyway, with another note saying I wished them well in finding someone who matched their needs, and that I did not understand why she thought I was lying to her about my reasons for leaving (why would I??).
I never heard from her again, but have wondered whether or not they found someone who would accept the hours and pay they had laid out.
I was on the care site looking for New Year's Eve jobs when I saw this mother had posted an ad. Two months after I had quit, and one month after she had gone back to work from maternity leave.
Makes me wonder.......
The job I have now initially started out only 12 hours, and only temporary. However, ideally I wanted steady hours and more money.
I had accepted a job from an Indian couple. These people pursued me. I had an ad on a care site, specifically stating my hours. The mother contacted me and said she really liked my profile and would like to talk to me about a job. At first, I blew her off. Once I saw on her own profile what her needs were, they did not fit what my availability was, and I said as much to her.
She turned around and said that she realized that, but they liked my profile so much that they were willing to be flexible on the start times. They wanted someone at 8 a.m. and I could not start until 9 a.m. They wanted someone until 5:30 and my limit was 5:00 pm.
I turned in my head that maybe this could work. I really did not want 40 hours, but was also not having much luck finding jobs with the limited availability I had. I liked the idea of a lot of flexibility (which is what I have now). However, a job is a job so, against my better judgment, I went and met these parents.
They interviewed me, and the interview was not bad, per se. But it was not comfortable. They told me they'd call by the end of the week with a decision, as they were interviewing other candidates.
At the end of the week, the mother called me. She no longer sounded composed and sure of herself. She was nervous, talked in a rush, as she offered me the job. She seemed apprehensive that I would not accept. She told me what she and her husband would pay, which was $50 less a week than my lowest absolute-must-have amount. She quickly agreed to my lowest-absolute-must-have amount when I said her offer would not do. I still had qualms, but hey - it was a job. Plus, I wanted to give the family a chance despite my gut instinct. My gut instinct almost always proves to be correct, yet I still doubt it when I can not logically put my finger on why I am having that feeling.
Mom was on maternity leave still but was to return to her corporate job in a month. She asked me to start the following week, just twice a week at first, so she could show me her routine, and what needed to be done around the house, and also to help her wean the baby from the breast. She wanted to see my interaction and care hands on; I understand. This was her first child, and personally, this is a good move on a parent's part.
So, the first day came. I was not nervous, not really. Part of me wondered what she would be looking for. I did not yet know this baby, or her moods, so did not want that lack of knowledge to come across as not knowing what I was doing. When a parent is present, especially when everything is new, it is hard to know when I need to step in and take charge as if I was alone, or step back and allow Mom to do her thing. Grandmother was also in from India, so there were two doting maternal figures there with me.
The baby was adorable. The first thing I noticed was lack of a rocking chair. The couch was very modern and deep. When I say deep, I mean that the back of the couch was much further back than normal. This meant no support when I did actually sit with the baby, as my 4'11 frame would not allow me to comfortable scoot all the way back. Even the mom had extra pillows for herself to put behind her back when she sat with the baby.
This meant that the majority of the time I was holding the baby, including for feeding, I was standing or sitting straight up on the couch with no support. This started to hurt my back. I started to think, "I will be here from 9-5 all day every day with no supportive furniture holding this child." I talked to the mother about a rocking chair and she said they planned to get one.
Baby was not having the bottle thing. She wanted Mommy's boobies only. But that was okay; those things take time and I knew eventually she would catch on.
I talked immediately to the Mother about holidays. They were Hindu, and did not celebrate Christmas. That was okay. However, I told her straight away that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was not available to work as those were huge holidays for my family. She balked at the Christmas Eve "I have to work." she said. I re-iterated that most holidays were not a problem for me, but those were two days that were huge in our family and we traveled and I would not be able to work those days. She again stated she had to work. When I said nothing, she said, 'Well, it's usually slow and most people take off, so I could probably get off early." Again I said, "We will be traveling that day." and left it at that.
So later, before I leave on my first day, the mom started to talk to me about end times. She would probably need me until '6 or so' - her exact words.
RED flags went up. Changing the terms already? What did this mean in the future? I had already agreed to some 5:30 days, only because they were being flexible with my start times. But really, THEY pursued ME knowing my availability. I did not want to work past 5 pm. The reasons are my own children. Working past 5 pm on some days was okay, since they stay with their father half the time. However, for me to work past 5 pm on the days I had my own children overnight would make it senseless for me to take pick them up and take them home. The reason I was in child care was to find a tailored position so that I did NOT have to sacrifice what my children needed. And now these people, who pursued me and promised me flexibility on my needs, were now backing up?
No, this would not do. But, being me, I said nothing at the moment other than, "I am not sure that will work." I do not act in haste. I wanted to go home, think over the implications of staying or quitting, and sleep on it to make sure I was acting rationally to this unexpected news. She talked on, about how even 6 pm was too early to leave for her company, but she would just 'tell them' she had to do it. This told me that it was possible they would try to stretch the time out in the future.
It was clear what I needed to do.
The next day, I told her in a very businesslike manner that the position was not going to work out for me. I apologized, and told her that I was to blame, that I should not have taken the job in the first place. I told her I was voiding out the check she gave me for the inconvenience. I explained that I did not desire to work 45+ hours a week, that it would interfere with what I needed for my own family. I told her the reason I was in this field was for the flexibility that some parents' needs can over so that I could do what I needed for my own family. I told her I had a corporate degree, and if I wanted corporate hours I would work a corporate job for corporate pay. I told her that there were plenty of nannies looking for full time work, and that I wished her and her husband luck in finding someone who better matched their needs. (I didn't tell her that, for what she was paying, that she was unlikely to find a quality person who would stick around).
Her response only solidified my decision and gave me insight to what conflicts would have been like with these parents. She basically told me she did not believe my reasons for leaving the job, that she believed there was another reason. (I guess she assumed I accepted another job, which was not true). She said we could have discussed hours and pay if those were a problem (we already had and she made clear what they were and were not willing to do for pay). She said she and her husband had been very excited to find me, and thought I had done a great job with the baby while I was there, and were now very disappointed. Etc etc.....
I sent back the check, altho she had told me to keep it anyway, with another note saying I wished them well in finding someone who matched their needs, and that I did not understand why she thought I was lying to her about my reasons for leaving (why would I??).
I never heard from her again, but have wondered whether or not they found someone who would accept the hours and pay they had laid out.
I was on the care site looking for New Year's Eve jobs when I saw this mother had posted an ad. Two months after I had quit, and one month after she had gone back to work from maternity leave.
Makes me wonder.......
SNOW!!
So, snowmen are hard to make. Believe me, we tried. I spent a good portion of 30 minutes bundling the kids up in snow bibs, coats, hats, water proof gloves only for the 3 yr old to holler he needed to potty as soon as we stepped out the door. (yeah - I should have known better and sent them potty BEFORE bundling them. I got what I deserved, but I was SO excited!!)
So, after we spend another 20 minutes on that task, and getting re-bundled, we trekked back outside. We attempted a regular sized snowman, but it wasn't happening. So, we settled on a much smaller one. The kids foraged for twigs, which the dog really helped find (she eats them) and we used a baby carrot cut in half as the nose. They were excited, so that was the key.
They slept good for nap that afternoon.
The next day we did snow angels! What fun!
Afterward, we enjoyed hot cocoa and watched Frosty the Snowman on DVD.
THEN, this week, we went sledding! OMG, I haven't had this much fun for a long while. My own kids were out of school, and with Momboss' permission, we met my kids and their stepmother (who was keeping them for the snow day) at a small hill next to a school.
Everyone was bundled up and everyone had an absolute blast! I don't think my charges had ever gone sledding before, and they were in heaven! The hill was rather small, but to a 3 and 4 yr old, I am sure it was huge! We got lots of pictures and video, and my parent-bosses were thrilled to see it! The kids got excited all over again re-living their sledding day, and explained to their parents each and every moment of footage watched.
This week, we plan to finish the Christmas crafts that I have had planned that we haven't done yet! We must take advantage of the snow, tho, as it comes! A white Christmas is expected too, which will make things that much more exciting for the kids. We don't get a white Christmas very often in this area!
Merry Christmas!!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I Love My Job!!
Things can be so hectic this time of year! Putting together crafts and fun trips and baking ideas for the kids to do, plus for me to do to help make the season special in my nanny 'family's house!
I will admit that what makes all the work worth it is knowing that my employers greatly appreciate and recognize the work and time put in.
Essentially, I am 'off' from this week through the beginning of January. There are a few days that the parent-boss' will need me as they run their own errands, specifically doing some shopping themselves and going to adult-only events. Momboss is still working, but she is off by evening. Dadboss works evenings, and goes to school during the day. He is off school, so they are basically playing tag in regards to who cares for the children.
Some nannies may be upset about this. Me? I love it. I love flexibility, and unexpected time off (or even expected time off) as long as I know I have a pretty steady job to return to. During my interview with the family, they were frustrated a bit at finding a fit for their family. They offered good pay, but didn't guarantee hours - for now. Once Dad-boss is out of school, then he will go back to the daily corporate world he was once part of.
I, personally, wasn't looking for 40+ hours. I was willing to work 40 hours for the right family, but the most important thing to me was some sort of flexibility. I prefer to be available for my own children when needed. They are in school full time, and also spend 50% of their time with their father. So I had time during the week for a job that was right for what I needed.
I have a degree that fits in the corporate world myself. Ha! So why am I in this field? There are a number of reasons. With my own children, it is very important for me to be available for them. With a corporate job with corporate hours, it would take away from what I want for my own children. So, over the years, I have sacrificed in order to do that. My husband is corporate and makes a decent income, so I budgeted for a lifestyle that would allow for that one income for our family so I could do what I feel in my heart is best - and that is raise my children myself.
My youngest is now almost 8. I also have a disable child that has required that I be available moreso than I would need for a typical child, being how he had to be run to therapy appointments along with a variety of other needs. But since my youngest is now a bit older, I have found that I am not needed as a mommy full time as I had when she was younger. My days are lacking of 'taking care' of someone. Throw in the fact tyhat their father, from whom I am divorced, is now taking them 50% of the time, it meant that I had full days and nights without caring for someone hands on.
And, with my extremely strong maternal instinct, it started making me slightly depressed. I am not ready to go corporate yet. I still feel my children need me just a tad longer before I do that.
So when i interviewed for this family, and they told me their needs, it was a perfect match! Not all interviews (well, very few, really) do I experience an immediate connection to the family, but with them I did. I went away, hoping that they would 'pick me', even though I charged a few dollars more an hour than they initially wanted to pay- what they were paying their previous care provider.
At the interview, I was told they only needed '12 hours' a week, with 'potential for more hours'. I applied because I liked the sound of that. Some may think that is crazy; what I heard was 'flexibility'!! I was willing to work over 30 hours, but didn't really want to. My preference was 15-25 hours. So, this was perfect! And I clicked with them too, which is so much more important to me than the hours or money made (altho they have their worth).
A few days later I was told that they felt I matched their needs almost perfectly, and would I like the job? I jumped and took it.
It was a great decision. I love the family. They are so easy to work with. The kids are great. It has been awhile since I liked a job this much!
Before long, the 12 hours became more. All with discussion, It was not something they sprung on me and expected me to just accept. They started paying me a salary that equaled a huge hourly amount IF I only worked 12 hours (rivaling corporate pay), but if I work 40 hours, it equals out to average nanny rates. I was astounded that they loved me that much! Dadboss told me they wanted to make sure I stayed for the long term and were determined to make certain I was happy.
I can not stress how much this has made me appreciative in return, and made me desire to exceed their expectations of me. There is much I do that is not officially my duty.
I also appreciate that my parent-boss' juggle their jobs and kids so well. If they are off, then I am off (paid). They desire to be with their kids, and spend time with them. They deliberately arrange their schedule to do so by working staggered schedules over one another, but pay me well to be there on the times they absolutely must BOTH be away full time. That means Momboss works full time during the day, and Dadboss goes to schol a few days a week during the day. This means, during the day, I am not always needed every day because when Dadboss is not in school, he takes care of his children. Dadboss works his job at night, a late 2nd shift, and Momboss is home taking care of kids. I love their family values. And they treat me as a partner in raising the kids, and not as some servant like I have read from so many other nannies. It makes me sad to read such stories about horrid employers. I would never, no matter how much I needed the money, work in a hostile environment. I would, and have, refused to work in such jobs even tho I have needed the money badly. I'd rather be broke than to put up with daily hostility and conflict.
Where am I going with this? I dunno. Just wanted to sit and write, and write I did!
I will admit that what makes all the work worth it is knowing that my employers greatly appreciate and recognize the work and time put in.
Essentially, I am 'off' from this week through the beginning of January. There are a few days that the parent-boss' will need me as they run their own errands, specifically doing some shopping themselves and going to adult-only events. Momboss is still working, but she is off by evening. Dadboss works evenings, and goes to school during the day. He is off school, so they are basically playing tag in regards to who cares for the children.
Some nannies may be upset about this. Me? I love it. I love flexibility, and unexpected time off (or even expected time off) as long as I know I have a pretty steady job to return to. During my interview with the family, they were frustrated a bit at finding a fit for their family. They offered good pay, but didn't guarantee hours - for now. Once Dad-boss is out of school, then he will go back to the daily corporate world he was once part of.
I, personally, wasn't looking for 40+ hours. I was willing to work 40 hours for the right family, but the most important thing to me was some sort of flexibility. I prefer to be available for my own children when needed. They are in school full time, and also spend 50% of their time with their father. So I had time during the week for a job that was right for what I needed.
I have a degree that fits in the corporate world myself. Ha! So why am I in this field? There are a number of reasons. With my own children, it is very important for me to be available for them. With a corporate job with corporate hours, it would take away from what I want for my own children. So, over the years, I have sacrificed in order to do that. My husband is corporate and makes a decent income, so I budgeted for a lifestyle that would allow for that one income for our family so I could do what I feel in my heart is best - and that is raise my children myself.
My youngest is now almost 8. I also have a disable child that has required that I be available moreso than I would need for a typical child, being how he had to be run to therapy appointments along with a variety of other needs. But since my youngest is now a bit older, I have found that I am not needed as a mommy full time as I had when she was younger. My days are lacking of 'taking care' of someone. Throw in the fact tyhat their father, from whom I am divorced, is now taking them 50% of the time, it meant that I had full days and nights without caring for someone hands on.
And, with my extremely strong maternal instinct, it started making me slightly depressed. I am not ready to go corporate yet. I still feel my children need me just a tad longer before I do that.
So when i interviewed for this family, and they told me their needs, it was a perfect match! Not all interviews (well, very few, really) do I experience an immediate connection to the family, but with them I did. I went away, hoping that they would 'pick me', even though I charged a few dollars more an hour than they initially wanted to pay- what they were paying their previous care provider.
At the interview, I was told they only needed '12 hours' a week, with 'potential for more hours'. I applied because I liked the sound of that. Some may think that is crazy; what I heard was 'flexibility'!! I was willing to work over 30 hours, but didn't really want to. My preference was 15-25 hours. So, this was perfect! And I clicked with them too, which is so much more important to me than the hours or money made (altho they have their worth).
A few days later I was told that they felt I matched their needs almost perfectly, and would I like the job? I jumped and took it.
It was a great decision. I love the family. They are so easy to work with. The kids are great. It has been awhile since I liked a job this much!
Before long, the 12 hours became more. All with discussion, It was not something they sprung on me and expected me to just accept. They started paying me a salary that equaled a huge hourly amount IF I only worked 12 hours (rivaling corporate pay), but if I work 40 hours, it equals out to average nanny rates. I was astounded that they loved me that much! Dadboss told me they wanted to make sure I stayed for the long term and were determined to make certain I was happy.
I can not stress how much this has made me appreciative in return, and made me desire to exceed their expectations of me. There is much I do that is not officially my duty.
I also appreciate that my parent-boss' juggle their jobs and kids so well. If they are off, then I am off (paid). They desire to be with their kids, and spend time with them. They deliberately arrange their schedule to do so by working staggered schedules over one another, but pay me well to be there on the times they absolutely must BOTH be away full time. That means Momboss works full time during the day, and Dadboss goes to schol a few days a week during the day. This means, during the day, I am not always needed every day because when Dadboss is not in school, he takes care of his children. Dadboss works his job at night, a late 2nd shift, and Momboss is home taking care of kids. I love their family values. And they treat me as a partner in raising the kids, and not as some servant like I have read from so many other nannies. It makes me sad to read such stories about horrid employers. I would never, no matter how much I needed the money, work in a hostile environment. I would, and have, refused to work in such jobs even tho I have needed the money badly. I'd rather be broke than to put up with daily hostility and conflict.
Where am I going with this? I dunno. Just wanted to sit and write, and write I did!
Monday, November 29, 2010
A Feel Good Moment
We all get insecure. I am the kind of person who is always second-guessing what others truly think about what I am doing or how I am doing it, especially in relation to my job.
Don't get me wrong. I do a damn good job. I take the initiative and do many things that aren't even asked of me to help out my employers. I do this because I care about the family and I care about the children. I get as much joy creating experiences and memories for the kids I nanny as I do with my own children. I do the extra stuff every now and then because I like to think that I have, in some small way, made the life of someone else a little less hectic.
But people are funny. Sometimes, others do not see things the way we see them. And we can think we are doing something over and beyond, and they may see it as not good enough. We can think we're doing a good job, and they can think we're doing a mediocre job. Or, they can believe we are doing a good job but not really agree with how we do our job.
My employers and I have a pretty good relationship. They back up my authority with the children, and have even taken a method I use and replaced their own with it. My job description does not include doing laundry, or cooking meals (except the children's meals) or cleaning. But - occasionally I will do these things as an act of service for the family that I care about. They're always appreciative. And always quick to re-assert that I 'don't have to do that.'
Of course, then I go into interpretation mode. Is that their way of saying they would rather me not cook dinner so Mom-Boss doesn't have to do it when she walks in the door from working all day? Do they appreciate the act yet not like my cooking? Did they have other plans for dinner and I just ruined it?
Ha! See? I do that. Rationally, I know this is not the case. Mom-Boss has texted me begging for a recipe I've used because it was so delicious. She has taken soup and shared it with her mother, and bragged that I folded laundry when she was exhausted from being with an ill family member at the hospital in between working and sleeping. She has apologized profusely for even asking me to work outside of my normal schedule.
And Dad-Boss - he's the one I see on most mornings. He is usually cheerful and asks about my weekends, my holidays, my morning so far. There have been a few mornings where he has been short. Again, I know sometimes he is just hurried. But my mind starts to wonder -- what are they *really* thinking about how I do my job?
Today, Dad-Boss calls me. They had called him off work because things were slow. He was going to be home an hour earlier, he said, and was that okay with me?
I laughed. "Of course!" I said. "It's YOUR house!"
"Well," he explained. "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with that. I don't want you to feel like I am messing up your schedule."
"No, no," I said, actually kinda glad to be able to leave early. "I'm flexible. It's fine."
So, he goes on to tell me his schedule during Christmas break. He is in school full time as well as working full time. He tells me when his last final exam is, then he has like 3 weeks off.
I waved it off, "Okay." I said. I was the one who asked him for his school schedule after all, fully expecting he would be off and they may not need me.
He went on, "well," he said. "We could find something to do, I'm sure. I - you know - I don't want you to feel like you're being slighted....."
"Whatever you need," I said to him. "Like I said before, this income is extra money for me " (my husband works and that is what supports our family) "and if you're home, and don't need me, it's okay. Really. And if you have something you guys want to do, like go shopping, that's fine. Let me know."
That's when he went on to say that they really appreciated me, and wanted to make sure that I was happy. He said he had talked to his wife, and even gotten on her a few times because he felt she had not given me enough advanced notice for some things, and that he stressed to her the importance of making sure I was happy in the job.
"The boys," he said. "They love you to death. And you are so good with them, and to them. We just want to make certain you are okay with things, that you're happy. It's hard to find someone you trust, and once you do, it's good to keep them. And I just - I don't want to have to go through trying to find someone else again....."
I assured him that I was, indeed, happy in my job. And I am. I love the job. And i am quite happy to find that they are happy with me too.
It feels good to be told. So parents, if you appreciate what a great job your nanny does with your children, tell her! It's not always evident, even if you may think it is.
Don't get me wrong. I do a damn good job. I take the initiative and do many things that aren't even asked of me to help out my employers. I do this because I care about the family and I care about the children. I get as much joy creating experiences and memories for the kids I nanny as I do with my own children. I do the extra stuff every now and then because I like to think that I have, in some small way, made the life of someone else a little less hectic.
But people are funny. Sometimes, others do not see things the way we see them. And we can think we are doing something over and beyond, and they may see it as not good enough. We can think we're doing a good job, and they can think we're doing a mediocre job. Or, they can believe we are doing a good job but not really agree with how we do our job.
My employers and I have a pretty good relationship. They back up my authority with the children, and have even taken a method I use and replaced their own with it. My job description does not include doing laundry, or cooking meals (except the children's meals) or cleaning. But - occasionally I will do these things as an act of service for the family that I care about. They're always appreciative. And always quick to re-assert that I 'don't have to do that.'
Of course, then I go into interpretation mode. Is that their way of saying they would rather me not cook dinner so Mom-Boss doesn't have to do it when she walks in the door from working all day? Do they appreciate the act yet not like my cooking? Did they have other plans for dinner and I just ruined it?
Ha! See? I do that. Rationally, I know this is not the case. Mom-Boss has texted me begging for a recipe I've used because it was so delicious. She has taken soup and shared it with her mother, and bragged that I folded laundry when she was exhausted from being with an ill family member at the hospital in between working and sleeping. She has apologized profusely for even asking me to work outside of my normal schedule.
And Dad-Boss - he's the one I see on most mornings. He is usually cheerful and asks about my weekends, my holidays, my morning so far. There have been a few mornings where he has been short. Again, I know sometimes he is just hurried. But my mind starts to wonder -- what are they *really* thinking about how I do my job?
Today, Dad-Boss calls me. They had called him off work because things were slow. He was going to be home an hour earlier, he said, and was that okay with me?
I laughed. "Of course!" I said. "It's YOUR house!"
"Well," he explained. "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with that. I don't want you to feel like I am messing up your schedule."
"No, no," I said, actually kinda glad to be able to leave early. "I'm flexible. It's fine."
So, he goes on to tell me his schedule during Christmas break. He is in school full time as well as working full time. He tells me when his last final exam is, then he has like 3 weeks off.
I waved it off, "Okay." I said. I was the one who asked him for his school schedule after all, fully expecting he would be off and they may not need me.
He went on, "well," he said. "We could find something to do, I'm sure. I - you know - I don't want you to feel like you're being slighted....."
"Whatever you need," I said to him. "Like I said before, this income is extra money for me " (my husband works and that is what supports our family) "and if you're home, and don't need me, it's okay. Really. And if you have something you guys want to do, like go shopping, that's fine. Let me know."
That's when he went on to say that they really appreciated me, and wanted to make sure that I was happy. He said he had talked to his wife, and even gotten on her a few times because he felt she had not given me enough advanced notice for some things, and that he stressed to her the importance of making sure I was happy in the job.
"The boys," he said. "They love you to death. And you are so good with them, and to them. We just want to make certain you are okay with things, that you're happy. It's hard to find someone you trust, and once you do, it's good to keep them. And I just - I don't want to have to go through trying to find someone else again....."
I assured him that I was, indeed, happy in my job. And I am. I love the job. And i am quite happy to find that they are happy with me too.
It feels good to be told. So parents, if you appreciate what a great job your nanny does with your children, tell her! It's not always evident, even if you may think it is.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thanksgiving Hats
With the holidays approaching, I have scoured the web for fun (and easy) activities to do with the 2 preschoolers that I nanny.
I found this fun craft. And they can wear their hats for Thanksgiving dinner!! When the boys did it, they were so excited! Granted, it was quite a bit of cutting for me. I did have to prepare some of the materials and they basically glued it together. However, they "feel" like they made the hats, so they did! Plus, it kept their little hands out of mischief for that time, too!
You can find the instructions (as well as many other fun ideas here.)
What an invaluable site! I love the internet!!! Whatever did we do without it??? (ah yes --- we had to scour books instead!!)
What kinds of crafts have you done for Thanksgiving? The hand turkeys are a given (we did those at the library).
I love ideas!
I found this fun craft. And they can wear their hats for Thanksgiving dinner!! When the boys did it, they were so excited! Granted, it was quite a bit of cutting for me. I did have to prepare some of the materials and they basically glued it together. However, they "feel" like they made the hats, so they did! Plus, it kept their little hands out of mischief for that time, too!
You can find the instructions (as well as many other fun ideas here.)
What an invaluable site! I love the internet!!! Whatever did we do without it??? (ah yes --- we had to scour books instead!!)
What kinds of crafts have you done for Thanksgiving? The hand turkeys are a given (we did those at the library).
I love ideas!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Pumpkin Cupcakes
Ah, the fun of cooking with preschoolers!
Do you ever start an activity with the kids you nanny, and start to think as you begin, "what in the world was I thinking???"
That describes me.
I get so excited looking through stuff and planning what we will do.
And then the reality hits!
4 small hands that need complete guidance, but do not always want the guidance. Especially with cooking. Cooking requires things to be done in a certain order. The kids get on their stools and want to just start tearing through stuff!! But they have soooooo much fun, and THAT is why it's worth it in the long run!These pumpkin cupcakes were fun and the kids were so good when it came to following directions and taking turns!
Tell me about some of the things you have been cooking with the kiddos. I'd like ideas!!!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The Beginning of My Journey
When I was a little girl, like most little girls, I liked dolls. I liked to play house, and pretend and take care of my 'babies'.
I have always had a very domestic side, and a very strong maternal instinct. I was certain I would have tons of kids. I dreamed of babysitting. In 2nd grade, we had career day. To prepare, we drew and cut out life size portraits of ourselves in the career of our choice.
Guess what mine was?
A girl with a baby in her arms. It was labelled “babysitter”.
At the same age, I ran around and knocked on neighbors doors who had toddlers and preschoolers, proudly announcing that I was available to watch their children. I was too young, of course I was. But they were gracious and humored me. They’d allow me to play with their child in the backyard (“babysitting”), no doubt watching all the while, and would give me a couple quarters for it.
I am the oldest of 4 kids and at the age of 8 was already taking care of many primary care responsibilities of my younger siblings. My mother and father were divorcing and my mother was in nursing school and working full time. We had sitters, but since my mother worked 3rd shift, many times I was caring for my baby brother while she got a few hours of sleep.
As a teenager, I had regular babysitting jobs. One couple even allowed me at 17 to keep their 3 yr old an entire weekend while they went out of town. These were very picky people who hardly ever left their children with anyone. They’d known me from childhood, and trusted me implicitly. And I did not disappoint. I took very good care of their child. I recall we went to a pumpkin patch, picked out a pumpkin and carved it for Halloween.
Just shy of my 18th birthday, I decided I wanted to get a part time job after school. I went to a private school that was preschool-12th grade. I applied at the preschool part for a 3-6 position. I was told to come back on my 18th birthday.
I did just that.
That was the beginning. I’ve learned a lot since then, and will eventually make my way up through the 19 yrs that I have been involved in this field of work. It’s a low paying field, and ripe with many who work it solely to avoid having to pay child care themselves. I’ve seen the bad ones and I have been awed by, and learned tremendously from, the very good ones. Throughout the sand and dirt you will find quite a few gems.
I hope one day to be counted among them.
I hope one day to be counted among them.
Monday, November 15, 2010
An Introduction
I have been meaning to start a nanny blog for awhile now but just never got around to it. If you're a nanny, and/or a mother, you know how that is! Life is always full of something everyday that needs to be done, and kids always bring surprises!!
So who am I? Just a person who loves working with children, and who has made it pretty much her career choice to do so. Currently I am a live-out nanny for a wonderful family in Ohio. In the past I have worked as a preschool teacher, including a stint in Montessori preschool education. I have children of my own as well, and am happily married.
Why did I start this blog? Does anyone really care what I have to say? Maybe, maybe not. All of my life I have written. Writing is a way for me to express and it allows me to release my thoughts, emotions, etc etc. So, mainly, I write for me since it's been a passion of mine since I have been a very, very young child. I do hope that perhaps someone will read and get something out of it. If no one does, however, it's okay because the release that writing gives for me helps me to get my thoughts in order and give them a tangible place so that I can make room for other thoughts in my head!!
This blog will be a combination of a variety of things. It will contain musings, as well as experiences that I have with my two young charges. There may be questions asked to see if maybe there is a better way to handle a situation that others have found helpful. Ideas may spring forth about activities, cooking fun, and such. I would love for other nannies (or parents who employ nannies) to chime in and give their two cents! It is my opinion that we can always learn more, and that there is no such thing as too many idea to try for any given issue that may arise with children.
So, there it is. My introduction. I welcome all to my inner thoughts of the world of nannying.
So who am I? Just a person who loves working with children, and who has made it pretty much her career choice to do so. Currently I am a live-out nanny for a wonderful family in Ohio. In the past I have worked as a preschool teacher, including a stint in Montessori preschool education. I have children of my own as well, and am happily married.
Why did I start this blog? Does anyone really care what I have to say? Maybe, maybe not. All of my life I have written. Writing is a way for me to express and it allows me to release my thoughts, emotions, etc etc. So, mainly, I write for me since it's been a passion of mine since I have been a very, very young child. I do hope that perhaps someone will read and get something out of it. If no one does, however, it's okay because the release that writing gives for me helps me to get my thoughts in order and give them a tangible place so that I can make room for other thoughts in my head!!
This blog will be a combination of a variety of things. It will contain musings, as well as experiences that I have with my two young charges. There may be questions asked to see if maybe there is a better way to handle a situation that others have found helpful. Ideas may spring forth about activities, cooking fun, and such. I would love for other nannies (or parents who employ nannies) to chime in and give their two cents! It is my opinion that we can always learn more, and that there is no such thing as too many idea to try for any given issue that may arise with children.
So, there it is. My introduction. I welcome all to my inner thoughts of the world of nannying.
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