We all get insecure. I am the kind of person who is always second-guessing what others truly think about what I am doing or how I am doing it, especially in relation to my job.
Don't get me wrong. I do a damn good job. I take the initiative and do many things that aren't even asked of me to help out my employers. I do this because I care about the family and I care about the children. I get as much joy creating experiences and memories for the kids I nanny as I do with my own children. I do the extra stuff every now and then because I like to think that I have, in some small way, made the life of someone else a little less hectic.
But people are funny. Sometimes, others do not see things the way we see them. And we can think we are doing something over and beyond, and they may see it as not good enough. We can think we're doing a good job, and they can think we're doing a mediocre job. Or, they can believe we are doing a good job but not really agree with how we do our job.
My employers and I have a pretty good relationship. They back up my authority with the children, and have even taken a method I use and replaced their own with it. My job description does not include doing laundry, or cooking meals (except the children's meals) or cleaning. But - occasionally I will do these things as an act of service for the family that I care about. They're always appreciative. And always quick to re-assert that I 'don't have to do that.'
Of course, then I go into interpretation mode. Is that their way of saying they would rather me not cook dinner so Mom-Boss doesn't have to do it when she walks in the door from working all day? Do they appreciate the act yet not like my cooking? Did they have other plans for dinner and I just ruined it?
Ha! See? I do that. Rationally, I know this is not the case. Mom-Boss has texted me begging for a recipe I've used because it was so delicious. She has taken soup and shared it with her mother, and bragged that I folded laundry when she was exhausted from being with an ill family member at the hospital in between working and sleeping. She has apologized profusely for even asking me to work outside of my normal schedule.
And Dad-Boss - he's the one I see on most mornings. He is usually cheerful and asks about my weekends, my holidays, my morning so far. There have been a few mornings where he has been short. Again, I know sometimes he is just hurried. But my mind starts to wonder -- what are they *really* thinking about how I do my job?
Today, Dad-Boss calls me. They had called him off work because things were slow. He was going to be home an hour earlier, he said, and was that okay with me?
I laughed. "Of course!" I said. "It's YOUR house!"
"Well," he explained. "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with that. I don't want you to feel like I am messing up your schedule."
"No, no," I said, actually kinda glad to be able to leave early. "I'm flexible. It's fine."
So, he goes on to tell me his schedule during Christmas break. He is in school full time as well as working full time. He tells me when his last final exam is, then he has like 3 weeks off.
I waved it off, "Okay." I said. I was the one who asked him for his school schedule after all, fully expecting he would be off and they may not need me.
He went on, "well," he said. "We could find something to do, I'm sure. I - you know - I don't want you to feel like you're being slighted....."
"Whatever you need," I said to him. "Like I said before, this income is extra money for me " (my husband works and that is what supports our family) "and if you're home, and don't need me, it's okay. Really. And if you have something you guys want to do, like go shopping, that's fine. Let me know."
That's when he went on to say that they really appreciated me, and wanted to make sure that I was happy. He said he had talked to his wife, and even gotten on her a few times because he felt she had not given me enough advanced notice for some things, and that he stressed to her the importance of making sure I was happy in the job.
"The boys," he said. "They love you to death. And you are so good with them, and to them. We just want to make certain you are okay with things, that you're happy. It's hard to find someone you trust, and once you do, it's good to keep them. And I just - I don't want to have to go through trying to find someone else again....."
I assured him that I was, indeed, happy in my job. And I am. I love the job. And i am quite happy to find that they are happy with me too.
It feels good to be told. So parents, if you appreciate what a great job your nanny does with your children, tell her! It's not always evident, even if you may think it is.
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